10 yr old son has so much anger

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-13-2003
10 yr old son has so much anger
Mon, 01-19-2004 - 12:23pm
My 10 yr old son has alot of anger. We had him in therapy for his anger from summer until just before the holidays and they sent us away and said, okay now go about your life and use the strategies I taught you.

He got a disciplinary report sent home from school last week, 1st time ever, that he was bullying another student. He was teasing the other boy about his speech.

I was appalled since, my son, is overweight, and gets teased too.

I really believe that my son is just very unhappy with himself and doesn't want anyone else happy either.

When I ask him to clean up his room, take a shower, etc, he flies off the handle and is unbearable to deal with. If he is like this now, how is he going to be at 16.

I don't know what else to do. Tomorrow I will be calling the school psychologist to talk with him about this incident.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2003
Mon, 01-19-2004 - 3:11pm

Hello and welcome to the board.

Sherrie Rainbow

Avatar for cl_janetlh
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Tue, 01-20-2004 - 8:27pm
Welcome and more {{{hugs}}}. ITA with Sherrie. Also, you could go back to your counselor for a "tune-up". Or, if you're unhappy with that practise, consider a different one. I hope the school couselor has some suggestions for you. Please post back and let us know how you are doing.


Jewish Family Life

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 01-26-2004 - 2:34am
I don't post here often, but I was lurking and read your post. You should have him seen for an evaluation for ADHD and depression. Impulsive behavior comes across as anger sometimes, something I did not know when my oldest was evaluated back in the late 1980's. My ds had a hard time dealing with things and he would often get into fights at school. No one was seriously hurt, mostly scrapes and hurt feelings, but it affects them inside.

Every kiddo is different, so it may not be that at all. Maybe if you have a heart to heart he talks and you just listen with no punishment for anything he spills, you can get some insight that he is not communicating to anyone. Ask open ended questions about how he feels when he's in the situation. But do consider having a professional make the final diagnosis. Better to know than not and things get worse.

My 10 year old ds is going through "don't remind me I want to remember on my own" phase and of course he is still learning. So I try to remind him in a roundabout way after giving him plenty of time to remember on his own. He gets mad when I tell him. Maybe your son is feeling like he wants more independence and does not quite know what is wrong, just gets contrary about things.

Also, at this age my oldest kept arguing about showering at night and wanted to shower in the morning. So we finally relented and he tried it and liked it better. He owned it.

Oh and both of my boys are neat and clean but went through the "I hate bathing or showers" phase. My oldest would just rinse, no soap. The youngest would just play and not take care of business in the shower. They finally learned and thank goodness that's over.

Good luck, and let us know how things are going.