Abandonment issues???.........

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Abandonment issues???.........
2
Tue, 05-27-2003 - 8:00pm
My friend has a ten year old son. He has always been overly clingy with his Mom. She can also be a bit clingy with him on occasion. I have taken care of him during the day since he was born, so I know him as well as anybody. He is bright, athletic, strong and healthy......but....he will NOT let his Mother out of his sight. He still sleeps in her bed, he still follows her into whatever room she is in. But the most annoying is he will NOT be left alone for even two minutes. Even I cannot leave him.

Last week I needed to run my daughter up to the school, but he needed to wait for his ride to soccer. I was going to be gone less than ten minutes and his mom was on her way. He bawled his head off...so I took him. But GEEZ! His Mom had to leave him home alone long enough to run a family home in her truck (six blocks) He fell apart then too. She had to leave him, there was not enough room in the car for him too.

Is this something she should be concerned about? He has always been like this, it's not a new thing. Most kids in our area can stay home for up to an hour without any problems. My daughter loves to have the house to herself.

How about your kids? Do you feel comfortable leaving them home alone? Do the kids feel comfortable?

Avatar for cl_janetlh
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Thu, 05-29-2003 - 2:33pm
While it's a scary world, and yes accidents and other things can happen, most people I know do leave their 10/11 year-olds home for short time periods, including me. (I totally respect Sherri's opinions, just giving you additional feedback you were looking for.) My children are quite comfortable with it.

I agree with Sherri that still sleeping with his mother all the time at this age is unusual. I don't think it would be unusual for some children to fear being left alone, even for short periods, though. That's something that should wait until they are ready, and 10/11 might not be it for many children.

Janet

Janet


Jewish Family Life

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Wed, 05-28-2003 - 10:29am
I wouldn't leave mine alone for 5 minutes. In this day and time it's just not safe. And no matter how mature they act at this age, they are still just kids. No matter how much you practice, no matter how many times you tell them things, if an emergency arises they are still kids and likely to react like kids and panic. Can you really be positive that they won't fall for the "I am from the electric company and I need to get in because there is an emergency" routine? Can you really be sure that if a fire broke out they wouldn't panic and hide? What if they fall and break a leg or hurt themselves somehow?

I know others do it, but not me!!

As for the little boy in your post, I think there are definitely some problems there. He shouldn't be sleeping with his Mom at this age and should be able to let her leave the room without him. But some kids are naturally more afraid than others and if he doesn't wish to be left alone in the house, then he shouldn't be. Kids see and hear so many things on the news. Kids being kidnapped from their bedrooms, kids being taken from the street, etc. It's no wonder he is afraid!

Sherri