Advice Please!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-08-2007
Advice Please!
6
Mon, 10-08-2007 - 12:00pm
My live-in
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 10-08-2007 - 12:18pm

I would give up trying to get her to confess. You know she did it, there is no other options and she knows you know but she'll never admit it and lose face. When you know kids did something don't ask them, just state it. "Since you moved the tickets and we nearly missed the concert we are going to have to watch you more carefully and take away some of your freedom since you can't be trusted. You can earn the trust back over time." I think he HAS to bring her to your house. If you lived with her full-time you couldn't kick her out of your house because she liked to you, you'd be stuck with her. I don't think its fair that divorced parents (and I'm one myself) can simply choose not to deal with their child when they misbehave by refusing to have them at their home. You have custody those days, too bad if you don't like their behaviour, you deal with it.


I don't know the solution but it sounds like she's acting out. How long have you been with her Dad? Maybe she's jealous that her Dad spends more time with your girls than with her. That would be very natural and maybe she does need some private time with her Dad. Every weekend they could plan 2-3 hours where they do something just the two of them. Talk to her about it and have them work on a plan of things they can do together, mini-golf, a movie, lunch, a walk in the park. Then she might not be so eager to get attention, even negative and she'll feel like her father is treating her special, she is special, she's his biological child and while you are all a family, they have a bond that will always be different. So maybe work on developing their relationship (but not to the exclusion of the greater family).


Good luck.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-26-2007
Mon, 10-08-2007 - 12:32pm
Welcome to the world of step-parenting. My advice is: this is what you would be living with if you choose to stay with your boyfriend. It is your choice if you want to live with all the drama that is sometimes involved with broken homes and new relationships. I'm in a step-family, so I know this stuff first hand. You need to really think this through, because IMO 2nd relationships can be more difficult than the first because you have a lot more people involved and usually unhappy kids. And all this drama usually causes the couple to argue. Not fun.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2003
Mon, 10-08-2007 - 3:11pm

#1 You can not prove it was her.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-08-2007
Tue, 10-09-2007 - 12:07pm

No need for apologies...I'm asking for your opinion.


My point was I didn't like the fact that he was alienating her that she should be at our house and wasn't sure how to handle things, when she got there.


we have her every weekend and on Sundays she spends the night with her grandparents ( for their visitation so to speak)

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2003
Tue, 10-09-2007 - 11:45pm

Your right it is a very sticky situation and I am so sorry your family is having to go through it!


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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2004
Wed, 10-10-2007 - 5:12am

I am so annoyed, I just replied and lost the whole thing...here I go again!


You probably will never find out the truth, so please just go on.

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