Allowance question
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Allowance question
| Wed, 01-28-2004 - 4:47pm |
How do you deal with your child when s/he finds out s/he gets WAY LESS allowance than friends? This is a big stickler here, as we live in an affluent area, but only 'made it in' because we got a major fixer-upper to get into the school district. Some of these parents - I tell you. One kid has 3 personal flat screened tvs. Others easily get $20+/week. I've set a new 'rule' on ds that he's not thrilled with too; he must have a 'reserve' of $50, and THEN can spend money. Otherwise it'd burn a hole in his pocket.
I guess I was just not nearly as materialistic as he and his friends are (so-and-so just got this gamecube game, and that one, etc.). Nor were the usual pasttimes as expensive as now.
Comments?
Sue
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Ooo, that's a tough one.
Sherrie![Rainbow]()
This is a tough question. I've approached this whole issue as a family values decision. No matter how much you have, your kids will know others whose parents give them more! I just explain that our values are that kids don't need as much spending money as some parents give. I tell them that it's not that we can't afford to put TVs in their rooms, we choose not to.
You could explain that your values directed you to buy a house in a particular school district, but that you have to make other sacrifices to provide him with this quality education. If there are specific things he wants to save money for, or has other money needs, you can talk to him about how he could earn extra money. Does a neighbor need plants watered or a pet looked after while they are away? Could he walk an older neighbor's dog in lousy weather? Could he shovel snow? (I don't remember where you live ;-) As our kids approach 11 and beyond, there are definitely ways they can earn a little bit of money.
Janet
Sue, in very cold St. Louis area, hoping the inch of snow they're predicting today comes!
Sally
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My dd went to private school her first two years. Athough I make good money, we were the "poor" family in that group -- huge houses (often on the waterfront), vacation homes in Tahoe, Lexuses and Mercedes, off to Hawaii or Mexico at the drop of a hat, too many toys and electronic goodies to count. There was no way that this single mom's income could keep up with the Joneses, and frankly, I didn't want to try.
I told my dd about "The Millionaire Next Door." The author did research, and many of those families with the conspicuous consumption don't have any net worth -- they're in debt up to their ears. The REAL millionaires, in terms of net worth, typically lived in modest homes and drove older cars, and lived well BELOW their means. I tell my dd that we don't make as much as some of those families, but I'm trying to sock away what I can for my retirement and her college, which is more important. Remember all those toys (I specify) that you were DYING for and then ignored once you got 'em?
Now that my dd's after-school childcare provider is a neighbor who's in a huge money crunch, she's had her eyes open to all the things that we CAN do. She sees that we have vacations and toys and outings to San Francisco or Sacramento or Tahoe that our neighbors simply can't provide for their kids at present.
I think our kids need to know what our monetary values and limits are, with no apologies. Good luck to all on this question.
-- Stephanie
Stephanie, CL of the Dating as a Single Parent board: http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-p
As far as allowance, we just started giving the kids allowance again. Both my 7 and 10 year olds get $5/week. They are very good savers. The oldest wants to save for a Playstation 2 and is trying to talk the 7 year old into combining their money. I guess I'm just too lazy, but I don't make them tithe or "save". I won't pay for all the extras anymore though. If they are pestering to go to a movie, they have to pay their own way and snack. If they want to rent a movie, they have to pay, etc. They do their fair share of chores, also.
conmama