Bedtime for 10 year old

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-1998
Bedtime for 10 year old
Wed, 01-21-2004 - 12:03pm
I have two sons that share a room, ages 7 and 10. Currently, they both go to bed at 8:00 and get up at about 6:45. I usually have to remind them once, sometimes twice. My 10 year old falls asleep immediately, but is easier to get up and going. It takes the younger one longer to fall asleep, and he's also harder to get up in the morning.

My 10 year old was complaining last night that all his friends get to stay up until 8:30, some until 9:00. I thought that was probably true, but my kids have always gone to bed at the same time and personally, I needed them to go to bed (for my sanity and tiredness and a little "me" time, also). I was thinking that at the beginning of next school year, I would separate them in their own bedrooms and that might be a good time to let him stay up 30 minutes longer. But I cannot even tell you the commotion this will cause with the 7 year old, and the fact that I WANT them to be in bed.

I'm just at a loss. What time do your 10 year olds go to bed and how do you handle it with the other children?



iVillage Member
Registered: 08-13-2003
Wed, 01-21-2004 - 12:26pm

I too have two sons, ages almost 7 and 10 years old. All along they have had their own rooms and with that their own bedtimes. That is until recently. For the last 4 months or so they have been sharing a room, basically little one is sleeping in older brothers bed and he is sleeper on the trundle you can pull out. Both of them were having a lot of fears at night and they felt safer together. I had just had major surgery, hysterectomy and I thought maybe they wanted to be near each other. They are getting older and get along alot better now.

As for bedtimes, they still have seperate bedtimes. Little one goes to bed by 8:00 p.m. he usually tells us when it is story time without knowing what time it is. As for my 10 year old, well at the beginning of school, I would put him to bed around 8:30 and he would lie awake down in his room, and then not want to get up in the morning, so we let him stay up til 9:00 and it works much better, even just that half hour, he is ready to go to bed. It does make it harder for us, though, cus we don't have very much alone time, since I usually turn in some night by 9 or 9:30. I have to be to work at 7:00 a.m.

Avatar for suzyk2118
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-1997
Wed, 01-21-2004 - 1:07pm
DS11 has gone to bed around 9pm for the last couple of years. K-5th they started at 8:55, so he would get up around 7am, seeming to need the 10 hours/night. This year now in middle school, we leave the house at 7:30 for a 7:55 start, so we've kept bedtime at 9pm (friends stay up til 10), and he's been getting about 9.5 hours (waking at 6:30), which seems adequate now as he's gotten a bit older.

He's an only, so I can't help with the sibling issue!


iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2003
Wed, 01-21-2004 - 1:35pm

My 11 year old stays up until 9:00p and has to be up at 7:00a for school at 8:55a.

Sherrie Rainbow

Avatar for cl_janetlh
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Wed, 01-21-2004 - 7:16pm
Since I have twins, I can't help with the sibling issue, although they have different sleep needs (like everything else, LOL!) Last year and this year their bedtime is between 8:45 and 9. Sam


Jewish Family Life

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-20-2003
Wed, 01-21-2004 - 11:48pm
My (almost) 10 year old goes to bed anywhere between 9-10--normally about 9:30.

Powered by
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-1998
Fri, 01-23-2004 - 11:18am
Thank you everyone for letting me know what you do with your kids. It does sound if that 8:00 might be a little unrealistic. Also, I like the idea of telling them if they can't get up by themselves after 1 warning, then they have to go back to the old bedtime.

However, this will be difficult with them sharing a room. Since the beginning of next school year they will have separate rooms...this may seem like an extra treat. I might wait till then. As far as little brother....haven't figured out how I will handle that. Maybe let him stay up an extra 10 minutes or something. Ugh...sibling rivalry.

Thanks again


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Fri, 01-23-2004 - 2:35pm

We will have that problem next year. As I allow my youngest to stay up with my 11 year old because he has afternoon kindergarten and actually tends to need less sleep anyway. I let my son stay up until 9:30 and he gets up at 7 and is out the door by 7:40. He complains he still isn't tired at that point, but like you I need some sanity at night before I go to bed. I think what I would do is seperate them like you suggested but tell you oldest he may stay up in his room for an extra half hour or hour, reading, playing his gameboy, computer whatever. That way you get your peaceful time, and your youngest isn't seeing his older brother out in the livingroom with the adults and him not getting to be part of it. While it might not seem fair to make him go to bed earlier than his big brother, its not really fair to make the oldest go to bed with the youngest, just because the youngest will through a fit. I think I would just tell you youngest, "when you get that age you will have the same bedtime and its the fairest way to do it"

Good luck


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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-27-2004
Tue, 01-27-2004 - 2:02pm
If you are giving the 10 year old his own room their is no reason why he can't stay up until 8:30 or 9 in his own room reading quietly. They both can still go at 8:00. He can close his door until then to keep the light from bothering the 7 year old. Our sons bedtime is 8 but we read to him and then he reads to us until 9. I usually fall asleep before he's done. He has to get up at 6:15.