Birthday parties

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-1998
Birthday parties
2
Tue, 09-14-2004 - 10:13am
I'm scaling back on the birthday parties now for DS, who will be 11 next month. He had his last big big bash last year that was very expensive (laser tag) for 15 kids. I told him this year he had to just have a couple of friends from the neighborhood and they could spend the night and I would take them for pizza and a movie.

The problem is he wants presents. But one of the boys had a sleepover for his party last winter and they didn't do presents. Now, this particular family is going thru a rough time financially and I don't want them to have to buy a present.

Is 11 too old to still get presents? I don't want to tell my son about his friends financial state, but how do I explain that we should ask for a no-present policy. What would be a good reason. I don't think it's wrong to have a present party at this age, per se.

However, the only other reason I wouldn't want it is because DS has so many friends that we are limiting who he can have and sort of make it not a "birthday party", but that I'm letting him have a couple of friends stay overnight in lieu of a party (that way he can honestly tell others he didn't have a party). If there are no presents involved, then that works out fine. But he wants present.

What would you do?

thanks

conmama

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2004
In reply to: conmama
Tue, 09-14-2004 - 11:52am

Oooh, good question and I completely understand your position - you don't object to the presents but you don't want to put others in an awkward position.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2003
In reply to: conmama
Tue, 09-14-2004 - 12:22pm
If your DS is anything like mine, he'll understand, eventually, and be happy with having the party. I find a lot of times they're a whole lot smarter than we give them credit for. Explain to him that you're taking the emphasis off presents and instead he should enjoy having the chance to spend time with his friends on his special day. He may just surprise you. ;)