boy-crazy gossipy 10 yr old neighbor

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-15-2003
boy-crazy gossipy 10 yr old neighbor
3
Fri, 02-23-2007 - 1:42pm
I'd like some advice. My DD just turned 11 (5th grade), and keeps busy with school work, competitive sports, crafts, and reading, etc. and she's not the least bit interested in boys (other than friends). And I'd like to keep it that for quite a while!
Meanwhile, her (sort of) friend (by default, the only girl her age on the block) who is 10 (they've know each other since they were 2 yrs old), is boy crazy, and forever seeking the attention of all the boys in our neighborhood (there are around five boys on our block between the ages of 10 and 12). This girl is always calling my DD, asking her for the boys' phone numbers, asking her to deliver notes to their doorstep, basic gossiping, typical 13-14 yr old stuff, not 10 yr old. This little girl is trouble waiting to happen. She is coniving, manipulative, secretive, and always trying to convince my DD to break some sort of rule. She is being raised by her single dad, who is verbally abusive, and her single mom (who was a mom at 19, and her sister who was a mom at 19, both of whom are never home to supervise this child. My DH and I always keep the communication lines wide open with DD about this little friend, and my DD knows that her friend is a pain, and they are only friends because she lives in the neighborhood and they have know each other since they were two. They are not friends at school, and both have separate school friends. My DD is very gullible, smart, but a pleaser. And if this little friend told my DD to jump off a cliff, she'd do it. I'm afraid for what lies ahead for these two as teenagers. Any advice?
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-28-2004
Fri, 02-23-2007 - 1:58pm
You have your work cut out for you. My dd has friends like this. I call it the anoying friend. I have done everything I can to limit her time with her. I encourage my dd to invite other friends over all the time. Play with so and so. This anyoing friend is last on the list. She is not allowed over with out my permission and I limit their time together. It helps that they have other school friends. Try to limit their time and suggest other things to do. If she has to have a friend to play with make arrangements for someone else to come "play." Even if you have to offer the ride, it will be worth it in the end. if you limit their time maybe they will forget and go their seperate ways. Good luck.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2003
Fri, 02-23-2007 - 2:20pm

I would definitely limit their availability to get together. I have 2 nieces like this. One is 16 so it's not like she plays with my 10yo. The other is 12 and I make sure they don't get together often. The 12yo's best friend just had a baby, btw, and she thinks it's just the greatest thing.

My dd is also a huge pleaser so I know the difficulty. I would encourage her in your conversations to pursue her interests and let her know boys are for down the road, not now, and tell her about your feelings of her needing to find out who she is before she starts worrying about finding a boyfriend.

I'd have no problem with your dd being too busy for this friendship.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2003
Fri, 02-23-2007 - 3:28pm

I also agree that limiting their contact is best!


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