Cell phones ?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-20-2001
Cell phones ?
9
Sun, 05-18-2008 - 6:21am

Dd is now 11. She says that many of her friends have cell phones. I think she doesn't need one. At the moment the only time she is not with us is when I take her to a play date. Why would she need a cell phone? I explained to her that she doesn't and that when she does I'll get her one.


She expects one for her 12th b-day.

Thanks,

Rainbow

"Life is not waiting for the storm to pass, but learning to dance in the rain!"

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-15-2007
In reply to: mdamom2001
Sun, 05-18-2008 - 7:17am

Our response to our son, age 12-1/2, has always been: "When *we* need you to have a cell phone, we will get you a cell phone." We are fast approaching that time, now that he is starting to play on sports teams that actually travel and we need to communicate with him about pick-ups, etc., and now that he is getting more independent with his social life.

If you are worried about the responsibility factor, I would start with a pre-paid tracphone and see how she does with that, if you decide to get her one at all at this point.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2008
In reply to: mdamom2001
Sun, 05-18-2008 - 7:25am
If you are serious about not wanting her to have one because you don't feel she's responsible then don't get one. It might not be all her friends that have them but a few.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: mdamom2001
Sun, 05-18-2008 - 10:03am

My DD has had one since she was 10.5 but I think its a very personal thing. I am a single Mom and she started coming home alone then and I felt more comfortable knowing she had one. The deal is (still) that she call me as soon as she gets home.So if the bus was late and I was freaking out wondering where she was she could call and tell me. Also if she went outside to play afterschool when I got home I could just call her and tell her that I was home and to come for dinner. It was a convenience thing for me. It was also good once she started having afterschool activities. Just this spring she was on a ski trip and we were supposed to pick them up at 6:30. Rather than sit in the cold wondering where she was, she phoned and told me that their bus hadn't shown up at the ski hill so she just phoned me later when she was near the school. So it can be handy for stuff like that. Its not life and death obviously to a convenience.


We discussed the rules up front. There was no texting and I was very clear that too many calls meant $3/min which she agreed is outrageous. We have a family plan so its basically free for us to call each other. In all that time she has NEVER gone

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-10-2007
In reply to: mdamom2001
Sun, 05-18-2008 - 3:15pm

My dd wanted one so badly for her 12th birthday. She got it. But there were several factors to it, not just to give her what she wants.


First, it was very inexpensive to add her to our family plan.
Second, we didn't get her a razor, or a texting phone, instead she got a hand me down from my FIL.
Third, between cheer, dance, after school meetings, sleepovers, group activities with friends, etc. I wanted her to have one.
Fourth, she is very responsible...very.


Each family is different, you need to decide what you want for your family and then stick by it.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2006
In reply to: mdamom2001
Sun, 05-18-2008 - 4:41pm

My ds (now 11.5) has had one since the end of 3rd grade. It was a Migo that could only call 4 pre-programmed numbers and he got it because he was walking to an activity by himself after school and I wanted him to be able to reach me in an emergency. Just a few months ago he got a phone that can call any number (a "real" phone in his mind). Like many other kids, he was getting to the point where his activities didn't always end at a prescribed time and we ran into carpooling issues where the phone would have been helpful. The phone wasn't that expensive and it was only $10/month to add him to our family plan (Verizon Wireless). We can call each other without using minutes too. Also, we did sit down and explain the cost of going over the alloted minutes and the cost of text messages. Now I text him just before school gets out to let him know whether to go to the after school program or if I'll be there right away and that's about all the texting either one of us does.

In a nutshell, if there are logistical or safety reasons for a phone, great. Otherwise, hold off as long as you can.

Community Leader
Registered: 12-16-2003
In reply to: mdamom2001
Sun, 05-18-2008 - 5:00pm
I would not get my kids phone untils they needed one.

Ramona  Mom to 2 great kids and wife to one wonderful hubby since 1990!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-1998
In reply to: mdamom2001
Sun, 05-18-2008 - 5:10pm
You already have your answer: if she's not mature enough and you don't need her to have one, don't get her one. But you can help her by telling her what she needs to do to prove she is mature enough (for example, not losing anything, doing her homework without nagging, etc), and then give her a year or so to show you she's ready. This way, she'll feel she has some control over this decision and will have a chance to grow a little.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2003
In reply to: mdamom2001
Mon, 05-19-2008 - 8:17am

I truly believe it is a parents preference.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: mdamom2001
Mon, 05-19-2008 - 10:53am

ITA with previous posts--it depends on your family dynamics.


My 10-year-old wanted one 2 years ago when she saw that

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