CHORES! for 11 & 8.5 yo !

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2006
CHORES! for 11 & 8.5 yo !
12
Fri, 12-15-2006 - 7:31pm

Ok - I know part of this is my fault - but I've not yet started expectations with my girls about house cleaning.

I'm wondering:

What do kids of these ages DO in most homes?:

&

now that I've not had it going all this time - how can I GET them to understand that things such as making beds are EXPECTED & their RESPONSIBILITY from now on? How do I get the idea to STICK???? HELP!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 12-15-2006 - 9:22pm

We don't do "chores". But there is only two of us so perhaps its different. She does what's asked of her. That's how I grew up. When my parents needed help I was expected to help. But if things were okay, then I didn't do it.


I can't say what is "normal" for her age. However as for teaching them, don't expect it to be easy. You can't say it two or three times and expect them to remember. Their brains are developing and we have to say things, ....ohhhhhh.... 10,000, 50,000 time? LOL You could try the chart thing if that works. Remind them everyday to check their chart and check off their tasks for the day. They don't have to necessarily be rewarded for doing them, its just a reminder of what they are supposed to do, so they can't say "I forgot". But you'll have to tell them likely daily for months and months to check the list. But it will come if you are patient.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 12-15-2006 - 9:39pm

My two kids are responsible for cleaning the kitchen every evening. The oldest unloads the dishes from the dishwasher that go 'up high' in the cabinets and my youngest does the lower cabinent stuff. They alternate nights, the tasks are divided. One washes the dishes off, loads the dishwasher and cleans around the sink. The other puts away leftovers, clears countertops, wipes counters, stove and microwave and takes out the trash. Other than that, they vaccuum, clean their bathrooms and fold laundry as needed. I don't sweat the bed making as my youngest does it on her own and my oldest has a loft bed and I don't see it. As for getting it started, just explain over dinner that you need some help and that they're old enough to contribute. You can base allowance on it if you wish or simply stress that they are all members of the team and need to help out.

Hope this helps!

Denise

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-17-2004
Fri, 12-15-2006 - 9:59pm

I will admit that we have been very bad about making our kids to chores. My daughter (11)gets so much homework, and has activities that I value, so she has little time for regular chores. Having said that, when she does have extra time I will have her pitch in. She is always responsible for putting away her laundry, and cleaning her room. I will ask her to rotate the laundry, or bring down the trash. I do have her help with some cooking.

Because I ask her to do so little (compared with what I had to do at her age) I expect her to do what I ask immediately, and without complaining. I say "Fifi (our imaginary maid) didn't show today so I need you to do X and Y."

I am trying to give her more to do simply because she will need the skills. My husband and I are very competent people, and it would be sin if we didn't teach our kids to do things.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 12-16-2006 - 1:32am

I'm not big on "chores" but I am big on expectation and on responsibility.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-17-2003
Sat, 12-16-2006 - 7:58am

Good morning,

My older boys, ages 10 and 13, do many chores. They can mow the lawn, clean dishes, fold laundry, even do some laundry, vacuum, dust, was floors and care for the dog.

We try to balance their chores with school work and after school activities.

You might want to try sitting down with your children and discussing their schedules and what chores they can reasonably be expected to do. Let them choose when to do things, like making in their beds. Does it work better for them to do it in the morning or the afternoon? Are there reasons it should be done in the morning? This is the type of thing you want to discuss with them. Let them make decisions with your guidance.

Make a list for each of them and set up some form of logical consequence if they do not follow through.

This is my first time posting on this board. I am looking forward to knowing the woman here. It's hard to find support for children of this age. :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2005
Sat, 12-16-2006 - 8:45am

As far as making responsiblities stick... You need to be consistant and just explain that they are old enough to do some things to serve their family. Stress that families really do need to work together in order to function well.

As far as what to expect I can give you my son's chore list from age 8, 11 and today if that will help.

age 8:
make bed
feed pets
sort own laundry
pick up room
strip bed on Friday morning
bring in trash barrels from curb
take out recycling
shovel snow from walk
clean snow off of car
weed garden

age 11:
make bed
feed pets
Do own laundry (wash, dry)
clean room
strip bed on Friday morning
bring in trash barrels from curb
take out trash
take out recycling
shovel snow from walk and driveway
clean snow off of car
weed garden
rake leaves
prepare one meal per week.

age 13:
make bed
feed pets
Help by doing family laundry on occasion (wash, dry, carry baskets etc..)
clean room
pick up toys/books after daycare kids leave
help with afterschool kids as needed
strip bed on Friday morning
bring in trash barrels from curb
take out trash
take out recycling
shovel snow from walk and driveway
clean snow off of car
weed garden
dig out new flower beds
turn soil for vegetable garden
work in manure in vegetable garden
mulch gardens
plant vegetable garden
rake leaves
prepare two meals per week
put away dishes in dish drainer as needed

We do not pay our child to do chores. Chores are expected from him as a member of the family.

stacy

Avatar for 2boyz4us
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Sat, 12-16-2006 - 9:37am
This is something that has "ebbed and flowed" and changed over the years at our house. When the boys were litle-preschool and early elementary they each had a list of chores to do, such as make bed, pick up rooms, clean rooms on Saturdy morning (Mom help as needed when little), set table, etc. As the boys have gotten older and had more demands on them with homework and the activities that they are committed to, it has shifted more to helping with home maintanence and doing what is asked instead of a daily check-off list each day. Does that even make sense? Today (ages almost 13 and 10) it would be more like-Pleae set the table, put the clothes in the dryer, cleaning up their own things around the house each evening, bringing their laundry down, taking out the garbage,etc. I don't pay routinely for doing things like that with a couple of exceptions: My oldest does get paid for mowing the yard, but it is not nearly what he would make if he actually mowed other peoples lawns like alot of teen-age boys do-more like half that amount. I will also pay a small amount if they jump in a do something "extra". An example of that is that I was deep cleaning the bathrooms last week (showers, tubs, floors, vanities, toilets, mirrors, the whole works). My 4th grader said he would do the toilet bowls, interior tubs, and vanities for me). So I gave him a bit of a "bonus".
 
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 12-16-2006 - 9:47am
This is it for us, exactly.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2006
Sat, 12-16-2006 - 11:05am

We have a list of chores for each child (general house help - details to come) and they get paid to do them. If they aren't done, they don't get paid. I did this to simulate the real world - you do a job, you get paid. They are also expected to do other things to take care of themselves and their rooms (straighten up, put away clothes, strip bed, etc.)

My 6 year old sets the table, folds towels, dusts the living and dining rooms, feeds the dog, etc.

My 10 year old unloads the dishwasher, takes out garbage, takes the dog out, sweeps up the kitchen after dinner, etc.

For other ideas check out Flylady.net. look in the table of contents and see what you can find. Her basic philosophy is lead by example and set up routines - work for 15 minutes at a time and make it fun. I've found her very helpful.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2003
Sun, 12-17-2006 - 10:48pm

For us the best chores list and the ones that work the best are just basic things that really should be done daily--or what I call general maintenence, LOL!


Here is my DD(12.10) chore schedule:

SUNDAY:


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