Dating???
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| Sat, 09-15-2007 - 10:08pm |
Hi Ladies,
DD turning 14 in November is starting to have a lot of boys ask her out. I knew it would happen soon because i see the admiring glances she gets from boys her age and much older. She is quite petite for her age but she has filled out in all the right places. I have even had women comment to me on her build, she does not flaunt it she usually wears jeans and t-shirts or sweaters but definitely nothing revealing.
Anyway, there is a boy that she likes. She asked if she could go to the movies with him and i let her go but i drove her there and picked her up. She said they had a lot of fun and chatted quite a bit through out the movie. I waited in the car for her for about 10 minutes until his mom arrived to pick him up and then he walked her to the car. He seemed like a nice boy, he opened doors for her and he didn't even try to hold her hand.
I had my first boyfriend at her age and it was very innocent and sweet but she seems so young. I am just thrilled that she is talking to me about her feelings because she is normally very private but she has really opened up.
I know i can trust her completely, she knows her boundaries and she has a very good head on her shoulders. So i guess my question is at what age would you allow your daughter to date?
Thanks,
Kelly

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I don't think all 14/15 year old boys want sex. You should see how some of the girls dress at the high school/junior highs I work at. They look they want sex, imho. At one of the high schools a gal got prego. They discovered she was having sex with her boyfriend in the bushes at the school. Kids will find a way to have sex. It's not that hard.
Hannah's friend from youth group is 14. I highly doubt sex is on his mind.
Tegan is way too level headed to be thinking about sex. I have no concerns that she is going to stop hanging out with her girlfriends. She is really into school, her extra curricular activites and
Mindy, i believe i am proud of you!!! That was really well said. Like you said DD is not interested in having sex. I had my first b/f at 14 and we weren't interested in that either. As a matter of fact i waited until i was 21 which is when i was ready. DD and this boy do not go to the same school. DD is in a enhanced program for her high school years. She is very focused on school, her friends and her extra curricular. I do not see her giving any of this up for any boy. She said she likes him yet she hasn't been on the computer today to see if he messaged her.
I got up this morning and realized i am completely ok with this. I know she has been raised well and that she has her own moral compass. I trust her 100%!!
Kelly
I think putting ages on things as this is silly!
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I am so sorry for what has happened to you Kim, but I think your perception of boys is a very harmful perception!
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First of all, I never said the movie theater would be the ONLY place kids would have sex. I'm trying to say: Why take the chance of letting your DD at age 14 go on a one-on-one date? What is the purpose? I should clarify by saying not ALL boys are after sex, but I bet if you ask your husbands what they think about that, they will agree MOST teenage boys are after sex of some kind, if it's not intercourse, it would be something else. I bet your husbands will admit they thought of that stuff, too as a teenager.
Mindy, I'm 40 yrs. old also, so I don't consider myself naive either. It is a statistic that a lot of people who marry in their early twenties don't last. You are one of the lucky ones.
Laura, I have not taught my girls that all boys are from Satan, or however you worded it, I have taught them that boys are to be just friends...that they have more to worry about in life than boys at this age. I realize kids are having sex wherever they can, I'm just trying to not encourage activities where they would be alone with a boy.
The reason I am against dating at 14 is because the thoughts will come too early about sex and sex-related activities. Usually holding hands leads to more intimacy.
I had a bad experience as a teenager and I don't want my girls to experience what happens when you have teenage sex. The boys talk about you, you are looked at as being easy, etc. You all know what I'm talking about.
I trust my girls, too..but I am conservative and will not allow dating until they are older. Also, I don't allow them to dress like they are looking for sex. And if I had a boy, he would be instructed in the same way...no dating at 14.
I am ok with group activities, depending on the kids.
I hope i have cleared things up a bit.
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