Dating???

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2003
Dating???
40
Sat, 09-15-2007 - 10:08pm

Hi Ladies,


DD turning 14 in November is starting to have a lot of boys ask her out. I knew it would happen soon because i see the admiring glances she gets from boys her age and much older. She is quite petite for her age but she has filled out in all the right places. I have even had women comment to me on her build, she does not flaunt it she usually wears jeans and t-shirts or sweaters but definitely nothing revealing.


Anyway, there is a boy that she likes. She asked if she could go to the movies with him and i let her go but i drove her there and picked her up. She said they had a lot of fun and chatted quite a bit through out the movie. I waited in the car for her for about 10 minutes until his mom arrived to pick him up and then he walked her to the car. He seemed like a nice boy, he opened doors for her and he didn't even try to hold her hand.


I had my first boyfriend at her age and it was very innocent and sweet but she seems so young. I am just thrilled that she is talking to me about her feelings because she is normally very private but she has really opened up.


I know i can trust her completely, she knows her boundaries and she has a very good head on her shoulders. So i guess my question is at what age would you allow your daughter to date?


Thanks,


Kelly

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2003
In reply to: kellyh33
Mon, 09-17-2007 - 9:10am

I know her. I know she is embarrassed if we even discuss kissing. She is alot like i was at 14 and i wouldn't have even considered it. She is really into school, she is in a enhanced high school course, she hangs out with her friends either at our house or theirs and she loves her extra curricular activities.


I believe if you know your child and teach them all the right things they will make good choices. She is not interested in these things yet. I don't feel dating at 14 will ruin her future. It certainly didn't ruin mine.


Kelly

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-26-2007
In reply to: kellyh33
Mon, 09-17-2007 - 10:35am

Thanks for trying to understand me. Believe me, I am educating my girls. Unfortunately, I am very angry towards my ex husband. We were together at 15...broke up a lot before marrying at 22 and 23. I had so many red flags I ignored. Now, 25 years later, I am still not able to communicate with this man. He is horrible. He broke up our family for another woman after 12 years of marriage, and cheated on me multiple times while while i was pregnant, too!
Now he is trying to take my DD away from me so she can go to the new high school near him...and once again break up my current family! You are very lucky and a rare couple that you made it this far with your husband.
I just know what I experienced as a teen. Most of your husbands now will more than likely agree they wanted sex around age 14...ask them. I am sure my girls will do whatever they want, like i did, but I would never be ok with real dating in middle school.
I will admit I have a little bias towards teenage boys...but I'm not being unrealistic about the majority of them just wanting some sort of sex.

Kim

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2006
In reply to: kellyh33
Mon, 09-17-2007 - 1:39pm
Most men will say that they thought about sex at 14. Especially when they are talking to their dd's. :) I know I don't want my dd to make the same mistakes I made growing up but the reality is we can't wrap them up in a bubble. It's hard because we want the very best for our kids. :(




Avatar for bradleyteach
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-29-2001
In reply to: kellyh33
Mon, 09-17-2007 - 6:25pm

Kim, I think that you are talking about something different than the rest of us are.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2001
In reply to: kellyh33
Mon, 09-17-2007 - 9:31pm

ITA


My dh has become a substitute dad to a high school boy in our neighborhood.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2006
In reply to: kellyh33
Mon, 09-17-2007 - 10:27pm
I applaud your DH - WTG!!!!




iVillage Member
Registered: 04-26-2007
In reply to: kellyh33
Wed, 09-19-2007 - 1:07am
Well, unfortunately me ex has greatly affected the way i deal with my current DH.
Maybe I will try to not be so hostile about all the boys out there. Looking back, I've been thinking about how my ex was only after one thing, even if we were married for 12 years.
His problem is he still acts like he's in high school.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2001
In reply to: kellyh33
Wed, 09-19-2007 - 6:57am

"His problem is he still acts like he's in high school."


There lies our major issue.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2007
In reply to: kellyh33
Wed, 09-19-2007 - 9:02pm

Hi Kelly:


My DD is 11 and already she talks about the cute boys in her school.

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Community Leader
Registered: 12-16-2003
In reply to: kellyh33
Wed, 09-19-2007 - 11:25pm
I do expect my kids to wait.

Ramona  Mom to 2 great kids and wife to one wonderful hubby since 1990!

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