Did I do the right thing?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2006
Did I do the right thing?
22
Wed, 04-18-2007 - 10:12pm

Hannah comes home from school and tells me she hates so and so. I ask her why and she shows me her binder. It's a picture of something scratched out. I tell her to draw what's scratched out. She draws a p. I'm livid. I know the 8th grader. I went to Cape Cod with her mother a few years ago. We were on the executive board on the PTA together. I think about this and think about this. I finally call the mother and tell her I'm livid. She was really nice. Told me her daughter wasn't home but that she would get to the bottom of it. That her daughter needs to buy Hannah a new binder, blah, blah, blah.


Now, I haven't told Hannah that I talked to the mother but when I do she'll be ticked. Sorry but I hate it when 8th graders pick on 7th graders. This is the thing that the 8th graders are doing to the 7th graders. Drawing P's on their binders. It's a peer pressure thing. I told Hannah that if I get a phone call from a mother telling me that she drew a P on her dd's binder I'd be very disappointed, amongst other things I said, like I'd kick her butt.


Would you call the mother or let it go?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2006
Thu, 04-19-2007 - 10:25am
L asked Hannah if she could draw something on her binder. Later at lunch time her friends asked her why she had a P on her binder. I can't spell the P word out because Ivillage will give me a warning that I'm spelling something inappropriate. LOL
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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2006
Thu, 04-19-2007 - 10:28am

You said, Dontcha love busybody moms like us! LOL!

Do you think we're busybodies? I know that most (((PTA))) parents are more involved in their childs schooling and the comings and goings at the school. We might be a little more vocal about things that happen at the school or with their child. KWIM?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2006
Thu, 04-19-2007 - 10:34am
That's a bummer about the game. Your story reminds me of something that happened to Hannah last year. She had a couple of playdates with one of her "friends" from her class. We had the child over for a birthday sleep over and dinner on occasion. One day the child went off on Hannah in a blog. She said some very disturbing things there. "I want you to read this and cry. I want to see you cry." Stuff like that. I printed off the page and saved it. Well, I call the Mom and the mom just blew it off by saying, she was pmsing and does that all the time. I told Hannah that the kid was never allowed in our home again. To this day whenever I go to the school on Fridays to walk around the school during lunch time the kid hides from me. :)
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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2004
Thu, 04-19-2007 - 10:36am
Hmmmmmmmmmm...I think you did what I would have wanted to do. But, I'm very nonconfrontational. Kids are kids and they do stupid stuff. It really does take a village and you were just being part of the village! Good for you!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 04-19-2007 - 11:02am

Perhaps "busybody" would be a name given to us, but I like to see myself as an involved and caring parent...someone who actually CARES what my child is doing and who they're doing it with! Definitely NOT a helicopter parent but someone who WANTS to know if my kids are breaking the law so I can reinforce our family's values on the matter!

Denise

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2006
Thu, 04-19-2007 - 11:29am
I agree!!!
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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 04-19-2007 - 1:59pm
Yep, its sad but we tend to think that all parents think the way we do, when some of them don't. It was a hard lesson for your son but there is not much you can do about it.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 04-19-2007 - 2:02pm
Yep, that's me. If no one ever tells my kid that she is doing something wrong, how is she supposed to correct the behaviour? I can't follow her around but I want to know so that we can discuss it, not just pretend its "normal". Just because "everyone" is doing something it does not make it "right" or "normal"?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2003
Thu, 04-19-2007 - 5:26pm
LOL Nancy!!!!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2003
Thu, 04-19-2007 - 6:30pm

I'll be like a supreme court judge and write a dissenting opinion - lol.

Yes, I think it's way overkill for kids that age to have a parent calling another parent to complain over something so small. Stuff happens and you can't involve yourself so much into your kids lives. I would never ever call a parent over some minor infraction.

Why were you livid? It was rude and gross and you two could have discussed that at the store to buy a new binder.

I mean she's 8th grade, not 8 right? Will you still be tattling on her friends in high school?

I'd have hung up from the phone with you, rolled my eyes and told my kid to stay away from yours. She meant something major like smoking, not something tiny.

BTW... I'm an involved parent too. I just let my kids handle some things on their own so someday they're fully capable adults.