Do you ever feel like...

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2006
Do you ever feel like...
8
Thu, 11-20-2008 - 12:49am
you can't relate to your child(ren)? Lately I feel like I just can't understand Evan. We're such different people... Maybe it's a gender thing. I don't know. I always LOVED school. He tolerates it. I'm empathetic to a fault. He needs to learn to think about how other people feel. He likes action, horror, and gory stuff. Me, not so much. I was a nerd in school, he wants to be "cool". I couldn't have cared less about being popular. I love a challenge, he doesn't want to be in a special high school math class next year because he heard it was a lot of homework. I like most healthy foods, he can't stand them. He would live on meat and white carbs if I let him. I really like to sing (I'm not any good at it, but it's fun), he hates to. I like to look neat and pulled together and he likes the "skater look". I like pop music and showtunes, he likes rap and rock. I find it really hard to relate to him. I feel like we have nothing in common. I think sometimes I fight this and try to make him like me instead of appreciating who he is. What do I do?
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2006
Thu, 11-20-2008 - 10:44am

I am having this struggle also, but with my younger child.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-07-2005
Thu, 11-20-2008 - 5:33pm

My daughter and I are like NIGHT and DAY! I am a girly girl. She isn't. I am social butterfly. She isn't. I am very particular about how I look. She could care less.


It bothers me sometimes but she is who she is. I can't change her and the more I try to, the more we fight. It is hard but DH helps me a lot.


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Avatar for sesamemom98
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 11-20-2008 - 7:41pm

Nicole, I could've typed your post!


Only Sherina is the girly girl in our house--I hate wearing dresses, heels & makeup; Sherina loves wearing dresses & frilly stuff & can't wait 'til she's old enough for "real" makeup.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-11-2007
Fri, 11-21-2008 - 9:13am
Gabby is different than me in so many ways.I actually love that.She is so self assured it amazes me.I never had her confidence.It amazes me how she loves to be on stage and getting up on stage by herself never phases he.I would be sick to my stomach,if I had to get up in front of the class for any reason.She is so sociale and has a lot of friends.I was happy with my small group of friends.SHe really isn't academic but she does great academically,although she could care less about being challanged,she would never take a H/S math class.That is the one area where she does not have confidence she thinks she is bad in math(she is not,but she it does not come naturally to her she has to think about it).If a teacher marks something wrong and she disagrees with it she will actually"agure her teacher.Yesterday she had to write an essay for English homework she did not like the topic she actually got the teacher to modify the topic for her.She is very creative.I do not have a creative bone in my body.She is very very very girly.I was never a tom boy but she has me beat with her girlyness.She loves to dress up.Me not so much.The child did not wear pants until she was in 3rd grade.She makes jeans and tee shirts look dress.I love that she is kind of different from me.We do watch the same tv shows and such.But her personality is so different than mine.I love how outgoing she is.I love that she is a people person and has the ability to get along with others.I am glad she is social,but still does well in school.I guess it really does not bother me too much that she is more interested in socializing than academics,since she still does well,since getting along with others is also important in everyday life.

 

Avatar for ang2gals
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Fri, 11-21-2008 - 9:27am

Actually some of it might be age related....my dd Rachel

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-1999
Sat, 11-22-2008 - 7:39am

Going through some of these issues with my 11 y.o. son.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2008
Sat, 11-22-2008 - 8:08am
Oh, most definitely and with different kids at different times. I will admit, though, to always struggling with my DSs which is a pain as there's 3 of them to 1 DD. I think it can be a gender thing sometimes. I'm not big into a lot of their interests. Sigh, I'm sure this too will pass...
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bisnaktual
kids
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2005
Mon, 11-24-2008 - 12:17am

Sometimes I feel like that. I feel like I could be closer to Kurt in general. We are very different on the surface when it comes to things like music and TV etc., but i feel like that opens up discussions for us. For example, he LOVES 70s classic rock and I can't stand it. he always bugs me about it but the other day he asked me what kind of music I like and we had a good discussion about music.

But often I feel like i just don't get teenage boys. I didn't as a teenager and still don't. LOL
I don't know why he says and likes the things he does and I'm just like "whaaat?" most of the time. I think that maybe I'm just better with little kids. I'm trying to do more stuff with him though because even if we don't like the same things, I feel like I need to work harder to have a closer relationship, if that makes sense.

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