Explaining the rules . . . .

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2003
Explaining the rules . . . .
2
Mon, 11-24-2003 - 4:42pm

As Sean has gotten older, I find that I spend more time explaining the WHY behind the rule and not just "laying down the law" so to speak.

Sherrie Rainbow

Avatar for cl_janetlh
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Wed, 11-26-2003 - 8:06am

Hmmm...I'm definitely a "lay down the law" type of parent, but I have no objection to explaining my reasoning, and I don't have a huge number of rules. We're actually in a calm period at home right now (shhhhh), so I don't have any specific examples for you. I did loosen up one rule this week, after the kids (I think Rachel) asked nicely. She asked if I'd consider suspending the "no GameCube Mon-Thurs." rule this week. They had Monday off from school, so that was no problem. She asked this Tues. morning, when they had a 1/2 day. (This is parent-teacher conference week.) They still had religious school from 4-6, but were getting home around 12. I told them that after their homework was done, they could use the GameCube. Doesn't sound like a big deal, I know, but I don't suspend rules too often! However, I thought it was important to discuss this

Janet


Jewish Family Life

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2003
Sun, 12-07-2003 - 2:43pm
I'm working on this one myself. I'm thinking I need to be more direct with my words also.

I've told Travis that I am not going to ask him 3 times to do things. Yet I find myself doing just that.

I'm thinking that I have to come up with hard and fast rules and talk with Travis about them so he will know what to expect.

The other day I asked him to put his game cube away 3 times. After listening to his excuses, I put it away. I told him he could have it back after he read 15 pages of his book for his book report.

He was so angry he packed his clothes to go home to his parents. (I am his aunt working on getting custody). I am only mentioning part of this argument.

Today I handed him his dirty pants that I found on the floor. I did not say to put them into the hamper. I found them in a ball on the living room floor. I picked them up and said to him, I didn't hand these to you just to show them to you. Please put them in the hamper.

I asked him three times to put away his change, pencils and headband so my 20 month old son would not get into them. So, he put them on the VCR. I had to ask him three times again to put them in his dresser.

This 3x thing has got to go.

I do let Travis have his game cube every night, but he has to have his homework done first. I also limit his computer time to 30 minutes. I guess I need better rules for him and expect more of him.

Sally