found condoms in 13 yr olds pocket

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2007
found condoms in 13 yr olds pocket
4
Wed, 08-22-2007 - 1:05pm
I am new to this group. I've read articles and gotten good advice before. But today I was doing laundry and found condoms in my 13 yr old sons pockets. I am not sure how I should approach him about this. On the one hand, I don't want to make him afraid to have condoms IF he is going to be engaging in sex. But on the other hand, 13 is too young for sex. Any advice on how to approach him or tips on how to handle talking to him. I know this is a crutial period and I'm trying not to overreact, but I also don't want to ignore it. 13 is too young to take care of a child for 18 yrs.
desperately needing advice,
Lyla
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2006
Wed, 08-22-2007 - 1:15pm
Hello Lyla - you might want to post this over at the "teen" board. They talked about this not too long ago.
http://messageboards.ivillage.com/n/mb/listsf.asp?webtag=iv-psteens&nav=start

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 08-22-2007 - 1:51pm

I would start (while freaking internally) saying "I found these in your pocket while I was doing laundry. I want you to know that I'm glad you are thinking about safe sex and know how to get condoms if you need them, but I'd really like to talk to you about what having sex means. Being safe is important but it is more than that. Are these your's? Where did you get them?" Then you can get into the other reasons why having sex at such a young age is not good. The emotional turmoil, and your own moral code for your family.


It could also be a case of one of his friends stole them from an older sibling and they were fooling around and he took some to be cool. Maybe they were somewhere they were being handed out and took them as a lark to feel older and more mature. It doesn't necessarily mean he's having sex or even thinking about it. It could be a status symbol amongst his friends to seem more grown-up than they are. So don't panic yet, but you do have to adress it. He left them in a pocket in the dirty laundry, it wasn't that you went snooping through is drawers. So just be matter of fact and if they were his and he planned on using them, make sure he knows you are proud of the fact that he's thinking safe, but then its time for talk about when and why sex happens.


Good luck.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 08-22-2007 - 6:51pm

I would hold em up and say "Guess what I found in the laundry today?" with a smile. "I really hope you're not needing to use these, because I don't think you're ready to be a daddy quite yet! I think we both can agree it's a bit soon to be having sex, but if you are I'm glad you're protecting yourself. Is there anything you'd like to talk about?" Keep it funny and lighthearted so he doesn't associate you being angry with issues like this. And who knows? He and his frieds may have been playing with them!

Denise

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2003
Wed, 08-22-2007 - 11:44pm

Flat out confront him on it.


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