Generation SMUG!
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Generation SMUG!
| Wed, 12-10-2008 - 2:25pm |
Are you finding that your tween/teen and or their friends are more cocky, smug, confident (whatever word you choose to use) than you
| Wed, 12-10-2008 - 2:25pm |
Are you finding that your tween/teen and or their friends are more cocky, smug, confident (whatever word you choose to use) than you
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I think kids of this generation definitely feel more equal to adults than my peers and I did. Yes, we could be sassy and rude, but most
I agree!
A coworker and I were talking about this today! Kids lack respect for adults in general. Its very different from when I was growing up. My children's friends are pretty respectful. They are way more comfortable calling me
I don't think it's this bad in other countries, though. A friend of mine from Belgium says that manners are still important in Europe, even though they have declined since her childhood. And several of the Ghanaian families in our church are appalled by how rude American kids are and how much tolerance there is for disrespect. One mom actually sent her youngest boys back to Ghana to be raised by her parents until they were old enough to start school here because she wanted them to have a good foundation in respect!
And I think a lot of it is what the adults expect. If I as a parent try to be a friend to my kids and their peers, well, they're going to treat me like a peer. But if I'm a little stand-offish and more parental, then they're going to treat me as a person in authority. I don't mind if the kids in my Sunday school class call me Ashley, but they know they have to look me in the eye and speak when I ask them a question even if their answer is "I don't know."
There are some kids I know that are.
We're big on the Mr./Mrs and Sir/Ma'm here in our house, and my kids are really consistent with it, as are many of their friends (particularly ds's cowboy friends, yes ma'm is BIG in cowboy culture, even cowboys much older than I call me ma'm!). Saying "Yeah", is one of my dh's hot buttons, you'll rarely hear mine do that and if they do, they know immediately to correct it!
However! I have actually gotten into internet fights with people who HATE that I teach my kids to say sir/ma'm and they would be insulted if my kids did it to them. Same goes with the fact that I'm teaching my son to open doors for women and to allow girls/women to enter a room first, that sort of thing. There are many who find that sort of behavior insulting. So, it's not surprising to me that we are raising a rude culture when we have all these mixed messages out there, what's polite and respectful to me is considered rude and offensive to others!
I do think the smug article addresses much of what was brought up in the other thread, in that we raising a culture of complacent kids, who are spoon fed information and praise is given for every little thing (including things unworthy of praise!), etc. I do see some smugness, but not a lot quite frankly, though I do see disrespect in large numbers amongst kids my son's age (though thankfully I don't see much of it in his close friends, he's been known to cut lose a friend who regularly treats others with disrespect, which I am SO proud of).
Not sure of the point of my reply at all, lol, except to say that my kids do call friend's parents by Mr/Mrs, or if they are very close friends they go by "Miss Nancy" (I just love being called that by fat cheeked little boys!)
I learned most, not from those who taught me but from those who talked with me. - St. Augustine
I have a friend whose son can do no wrong. He can do ANYTHING he wants and he walks on water (if you let him tell it) and he ACTS like it.
I already feel for him because when life starts to happen, he's going to be unprepared.
As the daughter of a man born during World War
I have to agree to a point Adrianne.
>>>On a
ITA about the respect and materialism issues.
Some examples in our life include:
We have had neighborhood kids eat dinner over with my sons, and look at the food my DH spent quite a while cooking (particularly fresh veggies like broccoli or asparagus) and say "Eeeww! We don't eat that at my house!" (OMG, I would KILL my kids if they did that in someone else's house! They'd better eat what they're served, and they'd better shut up about it and thank the cook!)
We had a sleepover birthday party for Matthew's 10th birthday in September. I noticed that a few of the kids had no problem correcting me and my DH for things we said (ie. "No, that movie is not about yadda yadda, it's about yadda yadda" or saying "Nuh-uh" to us). . . In the morning, my DH cooked this huge delicious breakfast with French toast and eggs and bacon and fresh-squeezed orange juice. Some of the boys openly said "Aww, can't we just have cereal?" and "I don't like that," and even went so far as to open our pantry and get out the cereal when it wasn't served!! (We didn't even have enough cereal for everyone). I was horrified!
Some kids in the neighborhood have heard their parents call us by our first names, and do it as well. I don't mind it that much, but I am taken back a bit each time. When they call us "Dr/Mrs" I feel it's more polite. I NEVER called adults by their first names as a kid! And we have taught our kids not to either.
The materialism in my area is out of control. Kids have laptops in 3rd grade, TVs in their rooms, every material thing you can imagine. Last year, before we got a Wii, Matthew invited a friend to spend the night. He was on the phone with him---in the process of inviting him---and his friend had the AUDACITY to tell him he didn't want to sleep over since Matthew didn't have a Wii! Can you imagine??
I tell these as examples, but most of the kids I encounter do not fall in here. Most of them are fairly polite, even if they aren't as polite as my kids. That being said, my kids are polite to other adults (We have been complimented on that), but are not polite enough to us I don't think. And I don't know how to correct that except by constantly being on them.
My boys really want all the material things their friends have, but it's not going to happen!!
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