Getting Your Kids to Listen

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2005
Getting Your Kids to Listen
2
Mon, 06-18-2007 - 10:44pm

We're always telling kids to "pay attention" -- in school, in church, and of course, when mom's trying to explain why it's not generally considered a good idea to smear peanut butter in one's hair. But what we don't really tell children is how to pay attention, even when they really need to. What's your best tactic for getting your kids to really hear what you're trying to say? (Other than a megaphone...)






iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2006
Tue, 06-19-2007 - 1:30pm
Stop everything. Establish eye contact. Disconnect iPod, mute the TV, turn away from the computer. Stand (or sit) still. Don't even start talking to them until all these things are accomplished. Maintain eye contact. Some people go for having them repeat back what you've said. I find that gets tedious, so we just ask them to acknowledge what they've heard by saying, "I understand." If they can look you in the eye and say that, they're probably successful listeners.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 06-19-2007 - 11:26pm

Well if you're talking techniques...I found that by stopping the YELLING made my kids have to listen much more closely. I'm a big fan of meaning exactly what I say and saying exactly what I mean. If I say to be off the computer in five minutes, my kids know I'll be up there pushing that turn off button in 5.5 minutes, no matter WHAT they'll lose. Once they're 'trained' to know you mean business and that you aren't going to repeat yourself over and over, they tune in pretty quick when you speak.

As for the 'real' conversations, I think the key is them knowing that you're listening to them! As the other poster mentioned, unplugging, eye contact and sincerity are all key!

Denise