Going to the movies alone?

Avatar for cl_janetlh
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Going to the movies alone?
2
Fri, 06-20-2003 - 6:18pm
Here's a question from a good friend of mine. I hope she'll stop by to read our answers and an update!

My question to you moms of teens/preteens is how old should a kid be to be allowed to go to the movies with a friend and no parents along? This issue has come up recently and the first time I said "NO WAY!" I thought he was too young. The second time it came up, he lied to me about going to the movies. He said he was just going ove his friend's house to hang out. The mom asked me if I was "okay with the movies now!" No matter how many times they caught lying they still think they can get away with it, don't they?LOL



Am I setting him up to lie to me constantly? I've asked his friend's mom and she said 12yo is about average age to go out alone. I do let R ride to the pool by himself or to the store about 1/2 mile from home. We have walkie-talkies we use to keep in touch. But the movies? It's a 16 theater multi-plex with an archade in it too. What to you think? Am I still parenting a little 10yo boy? Do I need to relax? How much freedom is too much? I'm more worried about a predator getting him than his being irresponsible, actually. It's really a shame that we have to worry about what could happen to our kids these days, but I do.



Wow, I'm entering a whole new area of parenting. I didn't think it would happen so soon. I need some good advice from someone who's BTDT!

Janet


Jewish Family Life

Avatar for keke0116
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 06-20-2003 - 8:26pm
I think it depends on who he's going with. My niece, for instance, is 11 (7 weeks older than my DS) and she recently went to the mall with my sis (her mom) and a friend and her 2 kids. Sis and the friend let the kids stay at the mall for awhile afterward ... like 'til 10-11:00 at night! Well, I was floored. I can't even imagine doing that with Kevin. But, my niece was the youngest of 3 ... the oldest is 13 (maybe 14?) and pretty responsible. Sis gave them money, and they basically did nothing other than get some cookies at Mrs. Field's and a drink. But, I can't do that. IF DS wanted to go to a movie with a group of kids (and I knew the kids, and it was the day not night, and it was a movie I approved of) I might consider it ... but it would take some convincing. Luckily, it hasn't even come up yet. Heck, I'm still getting used to letting DS and his friend stay home alone while I run his sister to her tumbling class. I am probably one of the least over-protective parents that I know, yet the thought of DS at a theater with just a couple of kids scares the crap out me!

I'd go with a compromise ... how about letting the kids go to a movie while you are at a different theater (different movie, same show time) or something, just to see how it goes? One thing that a friend of mine (with teenagers) told me is that when the group goes out, they are always given a cell phone (one of the parents parts with theirs for the evening) so the kids can always get in touch in case of an emergency. THAT works for me!

Nancy

Nancy 

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Avatar for cl_janetlh
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Sat, 06-21-2003 - 7:18pm
My 11yo's have not even asked about this yet, and don't seem as socially "advanced" as R. I think, honestly, I would be uncomfortable letting them go to a big multiplex with just friends, but depending on the friends, maybe I would change my mind about it.

ITA that cell phones raise the comfort level for more independence for the kids. I can run an errand without them, knowing they can reach me on my cell if they need me.

Janet

Janet


Jewish Family Life