Has the parent of a teenager ever giv...

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2004
Has the parent of a teenager ever giv...
8
Mon, 08-02-2004 - 3:43pm

Has the parent of a teenager ever given you chills about the future?



  • Absolutely.
  • No way. I don't scare that easy.
  • Other (please explain)


You will be able to change your vote.


iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2003
Wed, 08-04-2004 - 6:48pm
I put other because it is *I* who has given myself pause for the teenage years. I was the typical good girl - always polite, fairly shy but confident too, straight A's/Honor Roll and eventually Honor Graduate, athletic being a gymnast, cheerleader and softball player, etc, etc, etc. BUT I was out there sneaking around on the side, sleeping with my boyfriend, drinking at parties (not much, but still), etc, and I wound up pregnant my senior year in high school. Of course we had a happy ending with parental support and a head on my shoulders. Only my very close friends knew about my "wild" behavior. So therefore, I'm always worried that even though the kids may have this innocent look/behavior about them, that they will be just like me. I'm not really scared as much as I've just given myself a lot to think about.

Tammy

wife to Paul

mom to Christian (9-92)

Toree (4-94)

Madison (9-98)

Bailey (10-00)

Morgan (4-03)

www.geocities.com/mimi74_97

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2004
Thu, 08-05-2004 - 1:53pm

Another way to look at it is that you know

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-12-2004
Thu, 08-05-2004 - 3:00pm

WOW thought I was reading my own story there for a minute (exept the "happy ending" part).

Photobucket


iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2004
Thu, 08-05-2004 - 3:56pm
Your girls are beautiful.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2003
Fri, 08-06-2004 - 9:57pm
First Jeni - it appears you do have a happy ending ;) - gorgeous girls and an open relationship with your dd and your sister thus far. By happy ending I meant that I'm not wallowing around in self-pity, I bucked up to the job so to speak and took on the responsibility I had created. Granted, the daddy of my oldest two children, and I split up less than 5 years after we married - but whose to say we wouldn't have split up anyway without having gotten pregnant first (we were engaged to be married in july but instead were married in february).

Sherrie - Yes, that is a good way to look at it. Not one that I had really thought about. I hope that I recognize the signs of anything they may be doing on the side. My parents had absolutely no clue and my dad was a high school teacher who should have seen something but instead all he saw was his innocent little girl that never got into trouble. In reality, they still have no idea what I was really like. They think that I only slept with my boyfriend twice before ending up pregnant. They have no clue about the parties, sleep overs, drinking, or anyting of the sort. It's really sad that I'm 30 years old and still want to keep that from my parents *blush*

So far though, the kids come to me about everything. Even stuff they know they will get in trouble for all because they really wanna talk to me about it. (They are almost 12 and 10.5.) I honestly hope this continues throughtout. I do try to tell them things I did in hopes that they can see that I know what I'm talking about when I recommend against doing something. The hardest part I think is going to be trying to explain to my oldest why getting pregnant the way I did wasn't a good thing without making him feel like he interrupted my life (which I never felt like he did) or was burden or that he was a mistake or anything like that. I'm thinking right now of simply going with something he knows about - which is sin -- that what his dad and I did was a sin simply because it was outside the confines of marriage, but that sex itself is not a sin.... which of course means that just because we sinned doesn't mean that he is a mistake, etc, etc, etc. Anyway, any suggestions in that particular arena?? I'd be much appreciative.

Tammy

Wife to Paul (9-97)

Mom to Christian (9-92)

Toree (4-94)

Madison (9-98)

Bailey (10-00)

Morgan (4-03)

www.geocities.com/mimi74_97

Find me here – PG’s 1992, 1994, 1998, 2000, April 2003 and Homebirth

Unassisted Childbirth, Tons of Kids, Diapering

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2004
Mon, 08-09-2004 - 3:50pm

((((Tammy))))


The only problem I can foresee with using the sin approach is that he might feel that he is sinful, just because of the circumstances surrounding his birth.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2003
Tue, 08-10-2004 - 7:30pm
Ahhh yes that is a consideration as well. That's the very things I'm trying to avoid (having him see himself as something like sinful (simply because of the circumstances), a burden, etc). I think we'll do okay when it comes down to it but this trying to plan what I'm going to say or what approach I'm going to take is kinda eating at me, ya know? I should probably just stop thinking and pray about it instead and ask the Lord to guide me at the right time.

Thank you for seeing things I have overlooked!!

Tammy

Wife to Paul (9-97)

Mom to Christian (9-92)

Toree (4-94)

Madison (9-98)

Bailey (10-00)

Morgan (4-03)

www.geocities.com/mimi74_97

Find me here – PG’s 1992, 1994, 1998, 2000, April 2003 and Homebirth

Unassisted Childbirth, Tons of Kids, Diapering

Vegetarian Parenting, Catholic Parenting (Eastern Orthodox)

Kindergarten, 5th and 6th Grade

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2004
Wed, 08-11-2004 - 2:26pm
I do understand that planning and anticipating something can often be worse than the actual issue.