Has your child been abducted?
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| Wed, 03-14-2007 - 2:47pm |
My earlier question and some of the following responses inspired me to write:
The Preteen Chronicles.
I’ve always been a bit skeptical about life on other planets, but I know now for certain that it really does exist.
You see, my 12 year old son has been taken by little green men, and in his place, they have given me a spacey replacement.
If you suspect that your child has also been abducted, it’s important to watch for the signs.
What I have discovered so far is that their energy levels really vary. When it comes to playing sports, or biking or skateboarding with others of their kind, they have limitless, boundless energy and enthusiasm. However when it comes to unloading the dishwasher or changing cat litter, they will drag themselves around as though they were using their last red blood cell.
One would think their energy would be more consistent with the amount of food that they eat, however their digestive systems seem to work only for pizza pops, chocolate milk and sausage rolls. They are appalled by anything green and leafy and will noticeably balk when seeing the words “Organic”.
Even the language is tell tale. Watch for grunts, groans, sighs and a lot of muttering under their breath. This is usually accompanied by body language such as eye rolling, shoulder shrugging and looks of disgust or disdain.
They are prone to fits of temper and believe that life here on Earth is brutal and unfair (as opposed to where they must have lived before.)
Their desperation to connect with the Mother Ship is apparent as they plead for communicative devices such as cell phones, the internet and Ipods.
The lovely bedroom that you had created for your original child will be replaced with this creature’s ��nest”. The nest will consist of clothing on the floor, dirty socks hanging off of the dresser, and books and broken toy bits all gathered together. The room will emit a strange and suspicious odor.
These creatures value Earthly forms of money and will insist on receiving compensation for performing small duties, such as brushing their teeth or feeding their pet.
If your child is between the ages of 10-14 and you have been noticing these signs and other suspicious behavior, do not fear. You are not alone.
Unfortunately the only remedy that has been discovered is that of time. These creatures do not usually survive beyond their early 20’s. When they feel that death is imminent, they will bring back your original child, and you will once again be able to enjoy the beautiful being that you brought into the world.
Good luck and Best Wishes.

in our house we have always had an inch worm
its kind of nice that it comes and goes but the inch worm lives everywhere
I like the alien though.
Oddly enough I had a kid over here for supper tonite, and was totally blown away by his manners. My son said "Oh yeah, i act like that over at his house too, no one wants to make a bad impression."
Wow....lol
I'm trying to convince him to "make a good impression" here at home too! *wink*