Have your kids held you back?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-26-2007
Have your kids held you back?
18
Wed, 08-27-2008 - 5:59pm

Lately I have been unhappy that I haven't traveled much at all. I've been married or had kids for almost 20 years now. I see my younger co-workers going everywhere...most of them don't have kids. I feel like I'm missing out, esp. since they are asking me to work for them while they go to Mexico!! I am thinking I didn't do enough before I got married the first time around. Sure, we can go on vacation, but we're broke right now and kids are expensive, esp. on vacation. My cousin just went to Europe for 6 weeks with her DH and THREE kids...they went on a cruise and spent a ton of money. How do people afford it?

That's my rant for today....I feel like running away.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-07-2005
Thu, 08-28-2008 - 12:00pm

Career wise, yes. I could be much further along in my career had I not taken 6 years off to stay home with them. Once their babysitter (who is a close family friend) went back to work, I quit to stay home. They were (2,3 and 4). I stayed home until Julian was in school full time and off and on in between (lay offs, moves etc). However while staying home I went to school and completed my bachelor and master degrees.


Travelling yes and no. When they were younger we didn't travel much. We didn't plan and save. Now we make it a POINT (since '05) to take a family holiday and a couples holiday every year. This year they went to CA for month and we went to Jamaica. Our family trip was a series of day trips to Chicago and Indianapolis.


I have ALWAYS taken time for myself . I go on at least one all girls trip a year (this year I am skipping because I have two weddings in CA next year) and I take mini holidays for just me throughout the year (spa days, overnight shopping trips etc) I am a better wife and mom when I take time for myself. DH has always given me a break (readily) and I gladly take it.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-1999
Thu, 08-28-2008 - 12:24pm

No, not really. I feel fortunate that while I did get married on the younger side (24) and had my first kid at 25, I had already gotten the opportunity to fulfill many dreams. I admit, I do miss my career at times. I was passionate about it but it wasn't working with having children so I gave it up. It did hurt at first but I don't regret it.


DH and I have always had the travel bug but european travel is out of our budget as a family. We only do a big trip involving air fare about every 3 years but we do lots of camping, visit local states, go to national parks inbetween. There are some incredible places to go that don't require spending an arm and a leg (if you are willing to sleep in a tent for 15 dollars a day instead of in a 100 dollar hotel room, cook at your campsite instead of restaurants, hike instead of take tours, drive instead of fly, ect.) We always make travel happen but it also means we drive little economy cars and I shop at Target instead of Nordstroms.


Sometimes you have to look deeper. We know people who have much more than us but then, I wouldn't trade lives with them.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2002
Thu, 08-28-2008 - 1:01pm

I kind of know how you feel but I really don't feel like my kids have held me back. Career wise? Yes. I'd gie almost anything to be an RN right now. But I agree with everyone who said that, unlike the friends who never had kids by choice or other reasons, I love the fact that I got to nurse my babies and rock them to sleep, and put bandaids on their 'boo-boos', and teared up at their preschool graduation and watched their sports, etc...My oldest is in 8th and the youngest is in 4th. Where has the time gone?


Like Trace Adkins says "You're gonna miss this. You're gonna want this back. You're gonna wish these days, hadn't gone by so fast...' I am already missing the things that have passed but I wouldn't trade them for all the money, trips and life experiences in the world especially when they give me a hug and say 'I Love You Mom.'


Lynda

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2003
Thu, 08-28-2008 - 1:51pm

If I hadn't had kids I would be further in my career because I would not be taking a few years off to homeschool them. I love homeschooling and being with them all day so I don't regret it at all.


We love to travel and I could not imagine doing it and leaving the kids at home. I would keep thinking about what they were missing and wishing they were there. To minimize costs we bought a trailer and travel that way.I

Linda
mom to
Alex (16), Rachel (14), Matthew (12)


iVillage Member
Registered: 04-26-2007
Thu, 08-28-2008 - 4:35pm
Are you going to school to be an RN? I'm an RN in NICU. Being a nurse is very flexible for having a family.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2002
Sat, 08-30-2008 - 3:42pm

I'm only an LPN who really wants to be an RN but my h doesn't seem to realize that if I had my RN that I would have a better schedule and more flexiblity. Maybe someday. I wish I had done it sooner when it only cost a fraction of what it does now.


Avatar for sesamemom98
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 08-30-2008 - 9:01pm

(((Kim)))


I know how you feel, always taking care of your child(ren) and not taking time out for yourself; I did that to myself when Sherina was a baby.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-1999
Sun, 08-31-2008 - 1:03pm

"You're gonna miss this. You're gonna want this back. You're gonna wish these days, hadn't gone by so fast...'


A family friend always says "These are the good old days" meaning right not is the time you are going to look back on fondly.

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