Hi! I'm new to this board.....

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Hi! I'm new to this board.....
17
Sat, 06-02-2007 - 11:19am

But not new to ivillage - I used to post religiously until the one of the boards I attended was discontinued, then I lost touch, but I'm so glad I just found you! I've missed the support you get here and I need it!

I am married and have 2 boys, Dylan (10) and Aidan (5). We live in NY. My boys get along like water and oil. I work part-time in a NYC lawfirm at night and on Saturdays.

I've had a family dilemma and need advice: My 10 year old (5th grade) LOVES his older (male) cousins - he trys so hard to fit in with them (one is 11, the other is 14). Usually all is well, except when the 14 yo has a friend around. We were there on Memorial day for the 14yo's b'day and he had a friend/neighbor there. I found out in the car on the way home that 14 and friend were calling him "Fatty McChing-Ching" (gee, I never had to figure out how to spell THAT before), "Titty Monster" and "Jelly-Roll". He was very upset and told me he asked them to please stop because they're hurting his feelings (the one time he does as I tell him - he won't do this to his brother!) Anyway, I called my cousin and told her this was going on (we're supposed to be going camping (under protest on my part - another story) with them and now I find out WITH this kid and his family - this is usually a FAMILY trip) and she got VERY defensive with me, told me my son "isn't exactly innocent", "it doesn't sound like something that "neighbor kid" would say", and I "really need to let the kids handle this type of thing on their own". My son tried to handle it because he doesn't want to be alienated from his cousin and I told her that her younger son (the 11yo) was trying to stick up for him. Also, the name calling trickled down to the younger kids and they were all calling him names at one point. Now, I saw my cousin yesterday when she came by to get the camping $ and she didn't mention if she spoke to her son (who is constantly lying, btw, I've seen him do things and insist to his parents he never did it). Also, my dh went to see what video game they were playing since we regulate what our kids can play, and her kids were playing "Grand Theft Auto" which we forbid our kids to play, and the 14 yo had "bad" rap on his MP3. Should I ditch the camping trip even though I already paid? I really don't want to go, but if she can't control her kids, I don't want to be part of it. I don't want my son being the butt of their kids' jokes. Those kids are going to be in jail someday because of lack of parental supervision, I firmly believe this. At 10, 11, 14, you have to enforce rules. My son wouldn't make this up about the cousin he so clearly puts on a pedestal, and it makes me so angry that she won't believe me! My kid is chubby, but he's working on it, but I believe a 10 year old must be healthy - he exercises and eats healthy food - I'm a health-food nut! He shouldn't be made fun of BY HIS FAMILY and not get an apology. Right?

Any advice would be greatly appreciated and again, I'm so glad I found you!

Chris
(Dylan 10/96 & Aidan 12/01)

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Sat, 06-02-2007 - 8:08pm

Thank you - I hope so too. I hope my son remembers this when he is 14 and treats others as he himself would like to be treated.

Thanks so much for your response!

Chris

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Sat, 06-02-2007 - 8:11pm

Thank you - I haven't told them yet, but I don't think they'll really care anyway.

Thanks for your response!

Chris

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-01-2007
Sat, 06-02-2007 - 8:38pm

$121 to go camping?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2003
Sun, 06-03-2007 - 12:15am

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To Ivillage and especially our board Chris!!!!!!!


I am so sorry your DS is goign through this, and your right it isn't ok!


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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 06-04-2007 - 8:17pm

UGH! No - yeesh. That's 4 days at a place called "Strawberry Park" in CT for $121 - not including $6 a night per kid! It's supposed to be nice with organized sports, pool, etc. for the kids - but no fishing! We all love fishing - we shouldn't be going ANYWHERE that you can't fish! Anyway, it's doesn't include food or anything. Just bathrooms and a place to plug in. I wonder if there's a wireless router in the forest. ;o)

I'm bummed - I really am and thank you for so vehemently agreeing with me - my blue-eyed boy should not be made fun of like that. My cousin called today to ask me something else unrelated and she didn't mention the name calling or what her kids said. I can only hope that her 11 yo told her the truth and she's just too embarassed to say anything to me ("You were right" are such hard words to say).

Thanks again! My kids still want to go camping, though. DH want's to go to Hershey Park - if we can scrape up the $$, I say SURE!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 06-04-2007 - 8:23pm

Thanks Laura - both my boys still want to go, and if I decide to, I'm going to be on top of those kids like white on rice. I will not have my children teased and who knows what else in a forest away from home. I am so glad you all agree with me and I feel much better about it! I know my other cousin's wife is going to side with the mom of the offender because they do that, and I really don't have the patience for it, but if they really want to go, I have about a month to decide. I'll talk to dh and see what he thinks. He camped throughout his childhood and HATED IT! He camped on a glacier in Canada, the Virgin Islands and all across the US and he doesn't want to go. I never slept outside a night in my life and really like a roof and 4 walls separating me from the bugs, raccoons and rain. ;o)

Thanks again for your help!

Chris

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2003
Mon, 06-04-2007 - 8:32pm

My husband and I are very particular about who our children are exposed to, including family.

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