How can I solve this problem?
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|Fri, 07-16-2004 - 8:28am|
About 9 months ago my daughter asked for his e-mail, phone #, and other info which he willingly gave. This was OK for a while, but this is a young man who is VERY focused on his career and nothing else. Although he professes to love our family and care about my daughter, things get very sticky when he CANNOT answer e-mails and does not respond to phone calls. This is never about her...only about how busy he is. But her feelings get hurrt. Then I feel llike a bad mom because I have "allowed" (?) things to evolve this way.
It's been a bad two weeks, because he is making great inroads in the music industry. My daughter is feeling very hurt and ignored. Actually, last week I even called him and said,"Should I tell her to back off a bit? Are you too busy for this?" He assured me that he wanted to be friends "forever" and he would make it up to her.
Last night she waited for him on line and when he arrived he was very preoccupied with stuff from work and she was upset because he hardly chatted, even when she wished him luck at his next gig, etc. I CAN DEAL WITH HER...I CAN ALWAYS COVER AND SAY "HE WAS JUST BUSY...DON'T TAKE IT PERSONALLY", but last night I found I was the one taking it personally...I guess because I have given him so many oppportunities to bow out gracefully, and he's assured me he will always have time for her.
My daughter would rather accept his "crumbs' and roll w/the disappointments than totally lose his friendship. She loves him as a big brother. WHAT SHOULD I DO? After last night I wrote him a letter saying all the things I said here, but I am afraid that if I give it to him, my daughter will lose her friend and be devastated. HELP!