How often do you question yourself?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-29-2003
How often do you question yourself?
12
Mon, 02-25-2008 - 10:15pm

How often do you question decisions you make when it comes to your children?

 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2006
Tue, 02-26-2008 - 12:05am

If you need therapy, I should have the appt. right after yours! :) I do the exact same things. Add the fact that both of my kids were conceived via donor eggs and IVF (and that adds an extra sense of responsibility) and I'm probably certifiably nuts. I feel like I've been given these two incredible, incredible gifts (not that all children aren't but so many people went through so much to bring these two into the world) and I don't dare mess this up!

Sorry to hijack your post... Back to your concerns. I think second guessing yourself is part of human nature especially with something as important as parenting. We're all only human and we all make mistakes. What matters is you're giving her a great role model and you genuinely care about her. Just after Evan was born, my mother wrote me a letter and in it she said, "forgive yourself your mistakes, for he will too". I've never forgotten that. All you can do is go with your gut and do the best you know how. The two of you were brought together for a reason... :)

Cut yourself some slack!!! You're doing a GREAT job Mom!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-15-2007
Tue, 02-26-2008 - 7:26am

Sign me up for that therapist, too! ;-) I think (hope) it is normal to feel that way. We love these kids more than life itself, and it is an awesome responsibility guiding them to adulthood. I know I have made lots of mistakes along the way. Sometimes I think I should have another baby, because now that I know what I'm doing, THIS time I'll get it right and do everything perfectly... Hahaha. Parenting is not an exact science -- I think as long as the decisions you are making are being made out of love for your child, you are doing a great job!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-17-2007
Tue, 02-26-2008 - 8:26am

I believe with this response, it should be group therapy!!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 02-26-2008 - 11:04am

Tam,


Sign me up for the group therapy!


Sherina is not quite old enough to be here, but I do the exact things you posted!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-28-2004
Tue, 02-26-2008 - 12:07pm
im on the train. Its normal........ I question myself all the time. I have so many things to worry about on what to and not to tell her its driving me crazy. So when she asks a question its do i tell her an answer to her age or to a girl or do i have to explain and give a good reason............ then she asks more questions as to why this or that.....so i have to go into that.....i think she gets distracted and wants to just her herself be distracted.........lol
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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2005
Tue, 02-26-2008 - 12:27pm

IMO it's totally a mom thing.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-29-2003
Tue, 02-26-2008 - 12:32pm

Well since misery loves company it's nice to know I'm not alone in my paranoia. LOL

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-29-2003
Tue, 02-26-2008 - 12:40pm

I try to comfort myself in my moments of self doubt by telling myself the same things.... Gianna is doing excellent in school, enjoys her volunteer work, has a great group of friends who I highly approve of, she's a happy kid who appears well adjusted and is well liked by both adults and peers.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-11-2007
Tue, 02-26-2008 - 2:02pm

Daily.I truly think it is a mom thing.I know dh does not fret over every little descion he makes reguarding Gabby.


Nor does he think that is something he did if she mesbeahaves.This is a big one with me.If she does something wrong or is mean o someone I somehow thing it is something I did,not Gabby just making a bad choice.I worry that I am over protective at times.I worry that I am not strict enough at times,do I spoil her.I can go on and on.I wonder why dh does not stress like this?


You certainly have company.

Laura mom to Gabrielle


 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 02-26-2008 - 6:01pm
I have to admit I'm one of the ones that doesn't question myself much. We just go along our merry way kind of oblivious to the rest of the world. I don't have any friends here really and certainly not with kids her age so I have no idea what other parents are telling or letting their kids do. Of course I hear about it "everyone" is allowed, but I know to take that with a grain of salt. LOL I do think its normal though. My concerns are more about things like if I take a job in the US what will the effect on her be with her Dad here. Whether I let her wear a short skirt to the school dance seems pretty minor in comparison to that stuff. I think all parents worry abit, its what makes us good parents. However if you find you are unable to make a decision because you are afraid its the wrong one then maybe talk to someone, but if its kind of normal worry then don't sweat it. I try to think, in 10 years, will this really matter? Will the fact that she got a low mark on math in Grade 7 matter when she's 45? Unlikely, so I try not to sweat the small stuff. I'm not always successful but I try.

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