Husband Traveling- Anxiety
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| Thu, 11-20-2008 - 2:04pm |
Hi Ladies,
I know several of your husbands travel. I have a question for you. I have been married for 15 years and my husband has traveled through the week for 12 of those years. It has never been a problem until recently. About a year ago I started having heart palpitations. They got so bad that I went to a cardiologist. He told me that they were premature heartbeats and they would not hurt me and not to worry about it.
Well, I have gotten so scared of them happening when my husband is out of town that I have been throwing myself into panic attacks. Before he leaves I have myself so worked up that it aggravates the condition. I have gotten afraid to go anywhere without him because I am afraid that it will happen and I will pass out or worse. I know logically that they will not hurt me but when it happens I panic every time.
I have no family close by and no close friends so I am pretty much on my own. Have any of you guys experienced any anxiety when your husbands are out of town? How do you handle it?
Any reassuring words are much appreciated.

Your DH's travel may be a trigger for your panic attacks, but they're probably not the cause. It sounds more like panic disorder to me, and this is very treatable.
Hey there! Welcome to the board!
I am so sorry to hear about your heart palpitations. I suffer from anxiety disorder and I have panic attacks from time to time. I see my doc regularly and we have them under control. I agree with the other poster, your husband leaving is probably a trigger.
It can't hurt to go be seen by a physician. S
Stick around...we can help you through those rough patches. Someone's husband is
Yes I used to have major anxiety--I would literally spend more time watching the clock and feeling sorry for myself and it was a waste.
Have you thought of possibly some anti-anxiety medication?
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Thanks guys. The only anxiety that I have is that my heart will act up. It's very strange it's an extra/ strong heartbeat every once in awhile. Sometimes it's only one sometimes it's several a minute that can last for hours. When my husband is home I do not get scared because I know someone is here if needed. When he is out of town I completely freak out. The Cardio said that he can guarantee me 100% that it is nothing to worry about but when I am alone I still do. I hate living in fear of going out anywhere alone because it may happen. I am scared to death this weekend because my son has a golf tournament and my husband will be out of town so I have to drive a hour away and walk 18 holes with him. What if my heart acts up again?????
Uggghhh!!!! You guys are great though! Thanks
Hi, I"m jumping in late here, but I just wanted to tell you that I can sympathize in a couple of ways.
First, let me reassure you again about your heart palpitations. I am not a doctor, but my husband is, and I have those too. Usually it only happens when I drink a lot of caffeine, and not enough water to replenish my fluids. You might want to try cutting out the caffeine a bit when your hubby is gone.
Secondly, and most important---since my DH is a doctor, I have freaked on him a million times about my palpitations, and he always, always reassures me that they are TOTALLY BENIGN and nothing to worry about. He listens to my heart with his stethoscope, and feels my pulse in my wrist, and he has even felt them, and tells me they are nothing. He calls them PVCs (Premature ventricular contractions) and he says many people get them. I sometimes only get one too, and sometimes they happen all day. I can feel them up into my neck, and it feels like my heart skips a beat, and can even make me dizzy (Sound familiar?). I have had them for years, and I actually think they used to be a lot worse. I haven't had any in a while. . . Oh, and stress can exacerbate them too.
I haven't had panic attacks, but it seems to me that maybe your heart palpitations are what are sending you into a panic. If you can convince yourself that your heart is just fine, maybe you won't be so worried. My husband has assured me MANY TIMES that skipped or occasional irregular heartbeats are not what causes a heart attack. But I do know how scary they feel.
Last, I just wanted to tell you that my husband has horrible hours, and is gone overnight on-call in the hospital once or twice/week. I have learned over the years to sleep alone with the kids in the house, but I never sleep well. I always feel a bit insecure when he's not home, so I do know how you feel emotionally with that. About two times/year he travels far away to week-long medical conferences. He just went a month ago to Chicago. Whenever he travels, I feel REALLY insecure. I have gotten so down on myself about it. I've told myself that I am a strong and capable woman, and why is it that my husband must be with me to make me feel secure and complete? I mean---sure, I miss him and love him, but it's more than that. There is a sense of insecurity inside me when he's gone, like I'm waiting for a disaster to happen, and he won't be here to help me. I rely so much on him to be my strength and support, and that is not always good I don't think. I don't know if you're doing that or not, but maybe both of us need to find our inner strength and know that we are strong, capable women and we don't need our husbands to find our strength.
I'm right there with you, sweetie! Hang in there, and feel free to post here for support and I'll try and help you through all this!! You will be just fine, I guarantee.
(Oh yeah, and I agree with the others. Go see your doctor and get some anti-anxiety meds if you need them!) :)
((((((Hugs)))))
That is exactly what my Dr said. He called them PVC's. It is so nice to talk with someone who understands. It's scary as heck isn't it? I absolutely refuse to let this dominate my life and prevent me from doing things. I am a very private and independent person. I do not like admitting that I am weak or need help. Because of that I have kept this to myself, my husband knows of the PVC's but I haven't told him how much anxiety it causes me. I also don't want him to worry or feel guilty when he travels, it is hard enough on him.
Thanks so much for responding, like I said I don't confide in anyone so it's nice to have a sympathetic ear.
Sure, anytime! We can be the PVC girls, LOL!! ;)
Feel free to email me through my profile if you ever need to talk. I do understand what you're going through.
Oh, and I'm guilty of making my hubby feel guilty, so good for you for not doing that! You're a better wife than I am!