I am not ready for this! Help!
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I am not ready for this! Help!
| Sun, 06-08-2008 - 9:00am |
I am the "good" Mommy that bought my 11 year old son a PSP for Christmas. I knew it had internet capability - but did nothing about it. He is 11 right? Other then Club Penguin he doesn't touch the computer. Makes all A's, Excellent athlete, Serves in the Church And now I can add "views porn" to my list. I never saw it coming. I caught him with it last night and judging from the history That wasn't the first time. Can anyone help me know what to do? I've lurked at this site. I never dreamed this would be my first posting.

You are not the first person that's run into this. Trust me. Kids are naturally curious and I'm sure someone at school let him know how easy it is to find porn on-line and there you go. Now is the teacheable moment. This is your chance to talk to him about your family's values. That sex is not a bad thing between two people that love each other and are of an appropriate age (add in if you believe its only for married couples or whatever your beliefs are), that curiousity is not a bad thing, you and his Dad were curious about what boys and girls looked like too, BUT porn is not the right way to go about it. Porn is not sex between two people who love each other, its often between strangers and is not a loving act. Often the people are tricked into doing it, they aren't treated with respect and they regret it later but its too late. So I would just talk about how unhealthy porn can be because its not real.
I would also lay down some rules. Obviously he's banned from the PSP for awhile and you will be disabling the internet access (if you can, I'm clueless). I would get him a book about changing bodies and puberty (I know there are some good ones for boys but since I have a girl I'm not sure, you could go to your local library and talk to the children's librarian and she can give you some books and you can choose which one you like). But I think you just need to keep emphasizing that porn is not for kids, its meant for adults only for a reason, as is alochol and other things.
Its a toughie and I have a feeling parents of boys run into it more often than parents of girls but it seems like its bound to come up sooner or later for many of us. Good luck and feel free to jump in on any questions and join us. Everyone here is really great.
OK first of all, BREATHE! He's a normal,curious child. This isn't a reflection on your parenting skills or anything like that. He has never given you cause to think you might need to disable/firewall his internet before.
Now's the time to teach him what you think about this subject. This is a great opportunity to branch into what a relationship is and how important to respect his and other people's bodies and how viewing porn is not respectful. Maybe explain how exploitative the industry is of people in need of money. This doesn't have to go really in depth just the basics.
I'd also ask him how he found the sites. Was it an accident? Did a friend point him in the right direction? Has he viewed this sort of material elsewhere? You might find that some of your friends children are doing the same thing.
I don't think I'd do a huge punishment but I would be taking the psp for inappropriate usage until such time as he can prove he's gotten it. I can't promise he will *never* look at anything again but if you do find it again then repeat the process. GOOD LUCK
I agree with the others. I know you're mortified right now, but in todays world, this seems to be how most boys (and girls I'm sure but it seems to be more prevelant with boys)
Very interesting that you posted this. I work for NetSmartz411.org and just did some research on how to limit access to the Internet on a PSP. You have just validated for me that parents needs this info. Thank you!
In case you want to know how to do this, go to www.NetSmartz411.org, click on "library" then "gaming" then "Playstation."
Please let me know if i can help you with any other issues related to your kids' use of the Internet.
I wish you luck having a good talk with your son about the appropriateness of pornography. If you ever need help, please call the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children at 1-888-NETS411.