mom of 10 yo boy- with a SMART MOUTH

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-09-2003
mom of 10 yo boy- with a SMART MOUTH
7
Mon, 05-05-2008 - 7:45am

Im an East Coast mom of a son with an exteremly smart mouth. Its a fight to have him do anything- I end up every morning screaming at the top of my lungs for him to get up for school- or else it doesnt work.


I have to threaten him with taking toys away (playstation , gameboy, baseball) for anything to actually 'mean' anything with him.


I am at wits end- this is EVERY day and he just hasnt yet learned to keep his mouth shut to stop more punishment from happening. His newest one is that he is feeling too sick and stressed

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Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 05-05-2008 - 8:21am

Welcome. 10 seems to be a difficult age as they start to come into their own, but I would take the bullying seriously. He may well be feeling stressed if every day he has to face them at school. I know I'd certainly not want to go to work everyday and be called names. I think its great he can see the other kids value beyond what is "cool" and is friends with him, but he should not have to suffer for that. I would be calling the school and asking to speak to the teacher about what is going on and have your son go with you. There is absolutely no reason to tolerate that. I can't believe the things we expect kids to put up with that we as adults would be running to the police over. So don't just shrug off his complaints about the bullying, they could be very valid and maybe even worse than he's saying, but is worth finding out.


I think also some stuff you have to let go and he has to discover his own way that there will be penalties for not doing something. But I'd imagine if you can solve the bullying problem he may be less resistent to going to school and that might make your life a little easier. Also at a quiet time sit down on work on a strategy with him. What would make it easier to get up in the morning? Does he need an alarm clock? Would it help if you woke him 20 min. earlier and just let him lay there and veg for a while before he has to be out of bed? Does he like music in the morning? Most kids have an idea of what they thing would work and maybe you could figure it out but let him know that not attending school or being regularly late is not an option, so how can we fix it.


Good luck and I'm sure the other ladies on the board will have some good advice.

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Avatar for chicle
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Registered: 11-09-2003
Mon, 05-05-2008 - 8:35am

it doesnt seem like its true bullying-

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Registered: 09-26-2003
Mon, 05-05-2008 - 10:39am

Ugh, gotta love this phase---kidding!


What I have found, being the mother of a very mouthy daughter is that you have to have zero tolerance and you have to be consistent.


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Registered: 03-07-2008
Mon, 05-05-2008 - 1:29pm

hi Dana,

We do the same as the op. We issue a warning and suggest my very mouthy 6 yearold takes herself elsewhere to calm down and if she doesn't then whatever we said would happen as a consequence does. Be prepared for one very pi$$ed off kid to start with as this might be new territory. As long as you don't respond with a raised voice that is *THE* key!!! It will kill you not to yell(speaks from experience)and we all do slip up sometimes but this is about teaching what you say is what you do and that you don't yell anymore. Takes the stress out of it for you after a while. As far as the school thing try timers...this hands him the responsibility to get himself/things together and if they aren't then he faces the consequences. I'd suggest googling the 123 magic system. It was designed for adhd kids and is aimed that way but gives lots of practical suggestions for improving things/raising self esteem if he's feeling a bit low right now. Good luck

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Registered: 09-01-2006
Wed, 05-07-2008 - 10:27am
Hello Dana - Did you speak with his counselor yet? This is such a trying age. :)

Avatar for chicle
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-09-2003
Wed, 05-07-2008 - 1:26pm

Yes- I spoke with her yesterday. And without saying so, she definitiely alluded to the fact that his friend may be


part of the changes he has- I asked her what she thought of him - she replied she couldnt speak about another child but 'mother to mother' I should trust my gut instincts if I feel something might not be 'right'.


She also spoke with him about his stress and what is happening in his life.


She has attributed the stress as very normal and explained it to him that this was the type of work he should be doing in 5th grade


all in all - it seemed pretty positive - Im hoping as time goes on , he will move away form this friend. If not, I can always use the ' Im the worst mom in the world' line and not allow him to see him at all if he gets out of line !

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Registered: 09-01-2006
Thu, 05-08-2008 - 1:39am
Good, I'm glad the counselor was able to help.