Mom of friend bought dd a bunch of stuff
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Mom of friend bought dd a bunch of stuff
| Sun, 05-04-2003 - 1:22pm |
that I know they cannot afford. DD spent the night w/friend and the mom took the girls to Walmart. This family is barely getting by on 1 income, 4 kids, etc. The mom & I talked on the phone and she told me that dd didn't ask for this stuff and she bought the same things for her dd. I told her "you shouldn't have" etc. When dd came home and I saw how much stuff she got I feel bad knowing that they barely get by. Why would she do this? She said it was to make up for not getting her birthday or Christmas gifts (but she did get her gifts, maybe she forgot?) The Mom said she had extra money and wanted to do it but now I feel like the next time I take the girls I should reciprocate and that is not my style. I might buy a lipgloss or something but not as much as she got. How should I handle this and why do you think the mom did this in the first place? TIA for your replies.
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Now, back to your friend ... some people simply have no control when it comes to money matters. It doesn't matter how broke they are, how hard they struggle, when they have any extra money in their pocket, the only thing they can think to do with it is SPEND. The fact that she spent it on your DD was very nice, albeit foolish ... but whether or not you reciprocate isn't the issue really ... she has a bit of a problem. Depending on the closeness of your relationship, you may or may want to talk to her about that. But, that is HER problem. Right now, you are feeling a need to reciprocate, but the style isnt your's ... so figure out what is. They are having trouble getting by ... they have 4 kids ... are any smaller than your own. Can you do some Spring Cleaning in your kids' closets and find some hand-me-downs in good condition to pass onto her/them? Or how about having them all over for dinner or a barbeque or something? Or, send dinner over to them ... you just happened to make an extra lasagna and thought they might enjoy it.
I understand the uncomfortable feeling you're experiencing, but don't think that you should go take the girls shopping ... because if it isn't your style, then you are still going to feel uncomfortable, probably doubly so. Take it for what it is ... a generous gift that she couldn't afford but for her own reasons, wanted to ... and then if you want to reciprocate, do something that YOU are comfortable with.
Nancy
Nancy
<?xml:namespace prefix = v ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:vml" />As a side note --- I work outside of the home and buy things for my son not out of guilt but because I can. :-)
Nancy
Nancy
<?xml:namespace prefix = v ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:vml" />Janet
Janet
Janet