mom with tween troubles
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| Mon, 11-06-2006 - 6:10pm |
Well hello everyone
I am a mother of three 12 and half, 10 and 2 year old
the first two are daughter and the last one is my son.
I have no problems with my 10 year old, she is good in school and listens and is respectful..
the problem is with my first one, i love her very much and her step dad does too, we all do, but she could care less if we do. Like i said i love her very much, she is my first born' but I dont like her, i cant stand her defiance and unruly ways, i dont like the person she is becoming, she is like the bullies i use to run away from when i was kid. Like the mean girls in Junior high who makes fun of a girl because she is wearing payless.
It is sad yes it is, I dont hit her, but I would like to whip her ass and show her that I am her mother and I am the authority, she is not doing well in school. she talks all day and doesnt keep notes nor does her hw. When i ask her if she has any she says no, which is a totally lie; and boy can she lie, a straight face liar. I sent her to live with her dad last year and it went from bad to worse, she was mean to her step mother, and told people she was 14 when she was only 12, she is not sexually active nor is doing drugs or hurting herself. I have punished her by taking away her computer and she sneaks next door to use it when she knows she is punished, when she wants something she behaves herself for a week in school. But after she gets whats she wants she goes back to her defiant ways, I told her that she will not get her flat iron back and then she gets angry, I tried to speak with her about her behavior and why she is grounded, she talks above me and walks away, something that when i did my mother beat the crap out of me, To make matters worse she is always picking on her younger sister bc we dont pick on her. I am telling you there is no favoritism, my 10 year old isnt perfect, but she does what she is told, even w/o telling her; she does her homework even when there is holiday the next day, she reads on her own and watches tv, she is a peaceful child, but my oldest thinks that when she is rewarded it is bc she is the "princess" blah blah blah, she acts like a total baby.. She gets made bc i dont let her hang out with her friends, my husband saw her walk home from school one day and she was not behaving appropately, she was running back and forth the street not looking. I mean she can hurt someone.. or cause an accident. So how am i suppose to trust her. She always wants to be in the center of attention.. wants tobe the clown. If I tell her to wash a plate she snaps at me. If i tell her to clean her room she calls me a bitch under her breath, the last time i whooped her, she threatened to call the cops. I mean she is my daugther i dont know where she got this behavior. i was never like this i am more of old school, quiet and dont mess with other people, it is embarassing to have friends with her attitude, i took her to therapy and it didnt work bc the therapist sided with her. I mean the women said that I should her color contacts, which i dont agree with, and i dare not get her a cell phone.
well i said my peace. sorry for it being soo long but i need some imput and some advise, she doesnt have none of the hhg dohg whatever medical term its called, it is just pure how we say in spanish malcriada, which is misbehaved.
thanks for listening..

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You have to remember mom!
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I took away her flat iron when i got bad news about her school work and her homework
not being done and nor her classwork.. Everyday I ask her if she has homework and she says no i dont, when i went to speak to her teachers they tell me they give out homework out everyday. Now how am I suppose to trust her when she lies to me like? So back to the flat iron. Well last nite I told her take a shower( which is another chore) she says she isnt going to wash her hair, I tell her its ok bc she doesnt need to wash it everyday.. Well she took her usual hour in the shower when she comes out her hair is totally straight and I go to look where i kept the flat iron and it was gone.. I asked her why did she take it knowing that she cannot have it. She answers "because i wanted it" that is not an answer and it is disrespectful of her to take it when i set the rules about it.. so i take the flat iron and toss it in the trash. Now i dont have to worry about it anymore.. She got angry, i said what you did was wrong and disrespectful. She just turned up her mp3 player louder and totally ignored me. She went right to bed..I know i didnt over react, what she did was wrong and it isnt the first time she does things behind my back and knowingly knows she is punished from it.. she doesnt want to learn her lesson, and my fathe in law is totally getting in between the arguments i have with her.. I tell my DH to tell his dad to mind his business, she knows she isnt suppose to get an allowance and he gives her money, that is why she has no respect and can do whatever she wants.
Why would you take away her flat iron for homework issues?????
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Do you know her password for Myspace?
I'm totally going on a limb - It sounds to me like she is in charge of you.
The flat iron is her favorite thing and by taking it away she can worry about her homework than spending more than an hour on her hair... thats why.
carolina and i dont know how to get into it i have written to myspace many times and they dont help i am going to write to them everyday until her account is deleted.
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