mom with tween troubles
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| Mon, 11-06-2006 - 6:10pm |
Well hello everyone
I am a mother of three 12 and half, 10 and 2 year old
the first two are daughter and the last one is my son.
I have no problems with my 10 year old, she is good in school and listens and is respectful..
the problem is with my first one, i love her very much and her step dad does too, we all do, but she could care less if we do. Like i said i love her very much, she is my first born' but I dont like her, i cant stand her defiance and unruly ways, i dont like the person she is becoming, she is like the bullies i use to run away from when i was kid. Like the mean girls in Junior high who makes fun of a girl because she is wearing payless.
It is sad yes it is, I dont hit her, but I would like to whip her ass and show her that I am her mother and I am the authority, she is not doing well in school. she talks all day and doesnt keep notes nor does her hw. When i ask her if she has any she says no, which is a totally lie; and boy can she lie, a straight face liar. I sent her to live with her dad last year and it went from bad to worse, she was mean to her step mother, and told people she was 14 when she was only 12, she is not sexually active nor is doing drugs or hurting herself. I have punished her by taking away her computer and she sneaks next door to use it when she knows she is punished, when she wants something she behaves herself for a week in school. But after she gets whats she wants she goes back to her defiant ways, I told her that she will not get her flat iron back and then she gets angry, I tried to speak with her about her behavior and why she is grounded, she talks above me and walks away, something that when i did my mother beat the crap out of me, To make matters worse she is always picking on her younger sister bc we dont pick on her. I am telling you there is no favoritism, my 10 year old isnt perfect, but she does what she is told, even w/o telling her; she does her homework even when there is holiday the next day, she reads on her own and watches tv, she is a peaceful child, but my oldest thinks that when she is rewarded it is bc she is the "princess" blah blah blah, she acts like a total baby.. She gets made bc i dont let her hang out with her friends, my husband saw her walk home from school one day and she was not behaving appropately, she was running back and forth the street not looking. I mean she can hurt someone.. or cause an accident. So how am i suppose to trust her. She always wants to be in the center of attention.. wants tobe the clown. If I tell her to wash a plate she snaps at me. If i tell her to clean her room she calls me a bitch under her breath, the last time i whooped her, she threatened to call the cops. I mean she is my daugther i dont know where she got this behavior. i was never like this i am more of old school, quiet and dont mess with other people, it is embarassing to have friends with her attitude, i took her to therapy and it didnt work bc the therapist sided with her. I mean the women said that I should her color contacts, which i dont agree with, and i dare not get her a cell phone.
well i said my peace. sorry for it being soo long but i need some imput and some advise, she doesnt have none of the hhg dohg whatever medical term its called, it is just pure how we say in spanish malcriada, which is misbehaved.
thanks for listening..

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Again, let me start out by saying that I can REALLY RELATE TO WHAT YOU ARE GOING THROUGH!
If you don't mind, I would like to ask you a few questions?
Does she rage uncontrollably?
Does she have, what we refer to as "Hyper Streaks"! (and says I can't even be in a good mood)
Is she really moody? One minute happy and the other just plain mean?
Just wondering. These are ALL things that my lovely DD does / did!
As a matter of fact, she does. She has been on medication for about a year now and was doing much better. She told me a few days ago her medicine isn't working anymore. But, didn't want to tell me because she didn't want to gain any more weight! So I explained to her that there were other medications that did not make you put on as much weight as the one she is on now. Now I just have to figure out where I can take her that they won't make her see a counselor! hmmmmmmmm............. wish me luck!
That is the reason I asked her those questions. I have / am lived/living through it now! And some of the things she says her DD does rings very familiar with me.
Denita
Your getting a lot of great advice so I won't go on much!
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