I have an 11 year old son.
Hi, Julie! ITA with Sherrie's suggestions. Perhaps you can talk to the school counselor to get more information. As far as his treatment of his brothers, it doesn't surprise me. He's expriementing with the same behaviors he's seeing at school, even if he doesn't like being the recipient of them! He may not even realize he's doing it, so maybe you could sit down at a quiet moment and point it out to him.
It is SO hard to know what is going on sometimes. I know I've misinterpreted situations my kids have told me about. All you can do is keep talking, keep asking questions. If you're friends with another mom in the class or with the cousin's parents, you can call to express concern about what is going on with the kids in general, and ask if they've heard anything about it.
Glad to see you, and please update us on what happens.
co-cl 10- and 11-year-oldshttp://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-psfifthsixth