my grandmother passed away

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-28-2004
my grandmother passed away
26
Wed, 03-19-2008 - 10:30am

My grandmother got put in the hospital this morning. They are keeping her on a respirator until the family can get there. She will not last long.

I know if she does pass before the days end. her funeral will be held this weekend. My father does not have a whole lot of say so........ my problem is this yes my grandmother lived a full life and bless her........ but she has only one Great granddaughter, Jackie and she is close to her. How can a funeral take place and Jackie not be able to say goodbye? that is going to devastate my dd. Is this wrong to be so upset? I just dont know what to do. I have this feeling that Jackie is going to be really upset that she did not get to say goodbye. thanks for listing.

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Community Leader
Registered: 07-26-1999
Wed, 03-19-2008 - 11:29am
Lots of
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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-28-2004
Wed, 03-19-2008 - 11:33am
Thanks Tracy. Actually the funeral is probably going to be in Austin. thats about five hours away or so. But yes Jackie is at her fathers and will be till then end of the weekend. NO her father is not negotiable. He could care less. So we will probably have to make special arrangements for Jackie to go to the grave site. I personally think that making the "funeral" is more important, however i am dealing with a non caring human being right now.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-15-2007
Wed, 03-19-2008 - 11:36am
Oh, I am so sorry! About your grandmother passing, and also about your inflexible ex... Argh.... How frustrating.
Avatar for ang2gals
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Wed, 03-19-2008 - 11:48am

Hi D, I'm so sorry to hear about ur grandmother....I feel for you in regards to Jackie. I hope Jackie has lots of pleasant memories (and you too) of great grandma to comfort her thru this time. If its impossible for J to attend the funeral then I would say something similar to what you posted.


That it was sudden & unexpected when she went into the hospital and you were hard pressed to visit her before she passed. I think that is one truth you can share w/out having to go into the whole X/father figure issue of Jackie being unable to say goodbye. Then perhaps you can visit the gravesite & have Jackie say her private goodbyes. Ok, this is just a suggestion, I hope I didn't offend you.


Hugs to you & ur family on your loss...


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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2004
Wed, 03-19-2008 - 11:56am

I am sorry Deanna







iVillage Member
Registered: 09-10-2007
Wed, 03-19-2008 - 12:04pm

Oh hon, I am so sorry.


I hope that the services will be held off until Jackie can get there.


Many many hugs and your family will be in my prayers in the days ahead.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-11-2007
Wed, 03-19-2008 - 12:06pm
So sorry to hear about your grandma.I'm also sorry to hear that Jackie might not be able to attend.They won't postpone he funeral until Monday?If Jackie's dad won't let her attend I guess I would do what the others said and let her visit the grave site.Not that t is as good,but it may give Jackie some clousure.Have they at least let you talk to jackie so you can let her know.Would they take her feelings into account and let her cut her visit a day or 2 short?Again I am so sorry to hear about your grandma.

Laura mom to Gabrielle


 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-28-2004
Wed, 03-19-2008 - 12:10pm
Thank you.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-28-2004
Wed, 03-19-2008 - 12:14pm
i think your right. I will just have to explain it to her that way. It was quick and by the time she passed the funeral was so quick there was nothing i could do. Maybe that sounds bad. i think i will have to put it in a way that does not hurt her. I will take her to the cometary though no doubt about that. right now she is being pulled from life support and will be pronounced as passing today.....so since the family gets to make those arrangements I dont know when it going to be. I know for a fact that postponing it will not be just for Jackie. That family does not do things like that. I just have to accept it. But if it will be this weekend, which i am sure it will be. I dont even know if I can go without her. Its just hard.
Thanks for your support.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-28-2004
Wed, 03-19-2008 - 12:15pm
thanks Lisa. as i have said I have no control over that. Wish i did. and i have no idea where to start trying to get jackie to be able to go. even though i know the answer my ex is going to say.
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