10 is a tough age no matter how you look at it, it's a big bridging time....they are not young kids yet they are not teens and certainly not adults yet!
I went through this with the new neighbors that moved in over the summer, but with girls. My girls are 11 and 13. The new girl next door is 7. A BIG age difference, IMO. I could also tell that this family was looking for a babysitter, too. There are other girls her age on our street. After she kept coming over a lot and my girls kept saying they were done "playing" with her, I had a talk with the mom and the grandma. they kept asking when the girls could get together. I just told them politely that I felt the age difference was too big and my girls are busy with their friends and sports, etc. They got the hint. She barely comes over now. I know she has plenty of other kids to play with, so I don't feel badly about what I said to the mom and grandma. I don't think you should make your son play with anyone he doesn't want to. What about joining his friends in their sports? IMO sports are great. My girls have played soccer since they were 5. they love it and it's good for kids to build self-esteem.
If your son feels like he has to play with him, it doesn't sound like he wants to be around the younger boy. Just have a talk with the mom about how he has different interests, etc.
Being nice to little kids certainly doesn't make him immature... quite the opposite. 10-year-old boys are really not that sophisticated (no offense.) My DS is almost 7 and he regularly finds older boys willing to play with him. up to 13-years-old! Sure, the boys would likely prefer a kid their own age but if the choice is bordem or little kid..... they'll take a little kid. My DD is 10 and in 6th grade. She fits in well with older kids but she also still has friends who are younger than her.
welcome to the board. I know how your son feels about not wanting to play sports. My dd is not competitive and never has been. She likes the piano and the other arts... Its hard to find things to get your kids into. And when you do you encourage that. I would have to ask your son how he feels about this younger "playmate." And if this child is interrupting then you can politely tell him that your son can not "play" today because he has homework to finish. Even if it is everyday thats not a bad excuse. Most kids understand that and can deal with that. You do not have to talk to other parents if its just your son does not want to play. This child will get the hint everyday if you keep telling him no your son can not have company. As for getting him involved in other activities, give it time he will let you know. Encourage what he likes and open as many doors as you can for him. He will soon learn that its okay just to be him. Be happy you have raised such a caring boy. He will get his growth spurt soon and off and away he will go. Give it time.
I don't think your son should HAVE to play with him, but if he's playing down that's okay. Its what adults do with children, its a good skill to learn, to adapt to your social setting. However if your son is busy its okay to tell the kid to go home. I know on our street the kids just go to someone's house if they want to play and if the parent says "no sorry" they go home. Just because they ring the bell does not mean you are obliged to let them in. So I'd just tell the kid that sorry, he's not allowed to play afterschool Mon - Thurs.
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10 is a tough age no matter how you look at it, it's a big bridging time....they are not young kids yet they are not teens and certainly not adults yet!
ARe there any clubs at his school that he could join?
I dont think "playing down" to the younger boys level is such a big deal at 10yrs old.
I don't think you should make your son play with anyone he doesn't want to.
What about joining his friends in their sports? IMO sports are great. My girls have played soccer since they were 5. they love it and it's good for kids to build self-esteem.
Being nice to little kids certainly doesn't make him immature... quite the opposite. 10-year-old boys are really not that sophisticated (no offense.) My DS is almost 7 and he regularly finds older boys willing to play with him. up to 13-years-old! Sure, the boys would likely prefer a kid their own age but if the choice is bordem or little kid..... they'll take a little kid. My DD is 10 and in 6th grade. She fits in well with older kids but she also still has friends who are younger than her.
I think that if your son doesn't want to play with a child 3 years younger, it is fine for him not to have to.
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I agree with what Nancy said---around 10 is such a rough age.
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