Need advice: Nervous kid....

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-24-2003
Need advice: Nervous kid....
1
Tue, 08-26-2003 - 10:03am
My almost 11 year-old daughter is extremely stressed-out. She will take almost any situation and turn it into stress. Tests, quizzes are a nightmare, she won't eat breakfast on school days and she will drop into tears at the hint of a new situation. It seems like it is getting worse as she is getting older. I am a type-A personality and I am having trouble being sympathetic and understanding when she is building these things up in her mind by herself. She is starting to close doors for herself because of her nervousness and it is absolutely breaking my heart. She is such a great kid but the world will never know what she is capable of because she is too afraid to take a chance. HELP! How do you convince a child to take a chance and risk failure every now and then.????
Avatar for cl_janetlh
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Tue, 08-26-2003 - 10:10am
Here are some hugs for your dd. Sounds like anxiety to me, and I can sympathize having been an anxious kid. My mother was good at teaching me coping techniques, since she had also been an anxious kid, and my dd also needs my help, although thankfully, she's not as anxious as grandma or me (as kids)! For instance, my dd didn't eat breakfast the first day of camp, but told me "It's OK, Mom. I know I'll be able to eat tomorrow." So, she's at least starting to understand, rather than freaking out. I think it's hard for you to help her if you can't identify, which it sounds like you're having trouble with.

A couple of techniques are "What if...." What's the worse thing that can happen? What would you do if that happened? See, you know what to do, and that's very unlikely anyway. Let's talk about some more likely things that can happen and how you'll deal with it. In other words, role play some situations, and try to dispel her anxiety. This technique still helps me today!

If this is really preventing her from doing what she needs to do, it may be worth talking to your pediatrician about. It's really not so unusual, but I *do* understand it's hard to deal with at time. I'm not always so patient, even though I identify myself.

Good luck, and please let us know how you and dd are doing.

Janet

Janet


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