Need advice on this one...

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-15-2004
Need advice on this one...
Sat, 09-25-2004 - 7:54am
A VERY close family friend has made some VERY questionable career choices lately. Let's just say he is doing things that probably do not make his mom proud (he is 29 and can make his own decisions).

Here is my question...My 11 year old daughter is closer to this man than anyone in the world. He would NEVER do anything to hurt her. Is there any reason, why, because of this rather sordid career move, that I need to bar him from my home?

It would break her heart. I don't know what to do.


iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2003
Mon, 09-27-2004 - 7:11am
If he's not hurting her with this choice then I don't see why you should bar her from him. Maybe a chat with him about how you'd prefer he didn't bring his career into his relationship with her would do the trick.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-1998
Mon, 09-27-2004 - 12:36pm
I agree with the other posted than you shouldn't bar him from your home if you make it known that whatever you are uncomfortable with is not discussed around your daughter.

If he is able to honor that, then you should be fine.

If, whatever he is doing makes you so incredibly uncomfortable for him to be around your daughter but you have not concrete evidence that it will hurt your daughter, then invite him but stay with them during the visits.


iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2004
Mon, 09-27-2004 - 3:19pm


Without knowing the nature of the bad choice, I'd go with letting him have contact as long as he didn't discuss his choices with