Need help with introvert

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-29-2004
Need help with introvert
Fri, 07-30-2004 - 9:12am
Hey all, I'm new to posting...however I have been reading for a bit now. I'm hoping one or more of you can give me advice about what to do with my middle child, my DD who is 10 and going into 5th grade. We have had some problems in her schooling over the past couple of years and made adjustments we felt were an improvement (we homeschooled for 2 years (1st and 2nd) and then reinrolled in public in 3rd). We don't LOVE the school we are zoned for and our appeals to our local school board to attend a different school by way of us paying tuition and or rezoning have been rejected. So we decided to move, but it will be several months down the road. She is a not shy, however she has a hard time making friends. Anyone have any pearls of wisdom?
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2004
Fri, 07-30-2004 - 1:19pm

Is she involved in any groups such as Girl Scouts, 4H or something of that nature?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-27-2004
Fri, 07-30-2004 - 3:42pm

May I ask why she was having problems before?

Maybe its just the same thing re-surfaced?

or Maybe its just her personality?

Introvert vrs extrovert

Is she a deep thinker?

Maybe she just prefers her own space?

She could be an introverted artist type?

What is the problem with the school?

I think its important that our children learn to walk and be comfortable in various communities..not to run away from fear..but to face it ie "Feel the fear and do it anyway"

My daughter and I just moved to an affluent neighbourhood

she says she has nothing in common with these kids

all the kids wanna copy my kid. She gets the sneakers ...then next day everyone else has them. My DD is not being intellectually/culturally stimulated by her peers

I will not force her to hang out with them..I will find friend to challenge her culturally/intellectually. Till then she needs to learn how to be in both worlds

good luck

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-29-2004
Fri, 07-30-2004 - 4:04pm
She is in fact an introverted artist/ deep thinker. She loves painting (and has her own paints and easel as well as books and other stimuli). Our problems with school stemmed from an inability to cope with big changes in Kindergarten. She was placed in a class that spent half a day in one classroom with one teacher and the 2nd half of the day with a second teacher in a second classroom. (morning female teacher, afternoon male teacher). She had a hard time readjusting in the afternoons and struggled to be a part of things because of it. We talked to the teachers and her principal at the time and tried to get them to switch her to a class that didn't switch to make it easier on her, but they didn't see why it was necessary. In their words, "she'll have to learn sooner or later". We chose to homeschool because she needed to have some solid learning time and not have the back and forth adjustment during her school day. (That school felt it was a "good" thing to have kids in split day classes.) Needless to say we moved to another area to get into a different school, and a month before our school began they rezoned us to a school that is well, not affluent at all. Most families in the area for that school are welfare and VERY low income families that don't support their community or their schools. I am NOT saying welfare families or low income families aren't smart or are bad people, but this area is a trouble spot in our town. Our neighborhood was zoned there to help rectify a racial majority issue. My attitude is make lemonade with the lemons, so we've been diligent about teaching our kids to expect more, forgive more, etc. This daughter had a great 3rd grade teacher who didn't recognize a bully problem. My DD was bullied (in some pretty horrible ways) for about 3 months before we could pinpoint what was going on. (She was afraid that if she told that somehow the girl would be able to find our house and beat her up.) Needless to say I helped her teacher teach a yearlong unit on Celebrating differences and bully prevention. 4th grade she ended up with a teacher that well, I'll be kind and say that she showed up every day. After dozens of formal complaints to both the principal and the school board they finally removed that teacher. She is involved with a group similiar to girl scouts, and also takes music lessons and chorus. She just hasn't clicked with girls in either of those groups. I just don't know where else to turn.....I like the idea (sorry dont' remember who suggested it) of 4-H (she loves animals, especially horses)and I've called this morn to find if we have a group in our area. I'm just feel like I should be doing more, or like I'm missing saying something that will help her "click"...
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-27-2004
Fri, 07-30-2004 - 5:10pm

I knew she was an artist, as I am much the same

I often prefer to be alone, than spend the day with people who do not understand my vision.

As for "making lemonade with lemons"..not to sure what you mean by that

but I'd say....try and see the beauty in a cornocopia of color and diversity

It makes for an exquisit, flavourful, fruit drink.LOL

Diversity is a good thing. We need to learn how to walk in all worlds.Other wise we learn nothing because we are sheltered in boxes that block new knowledge of others and self.

Economics is a huge factor in community "The haves vrs the have nots"

Recognize that both worlds can teach each other valuable lessons.

I use the yin and yang symbol because in every negative..there is a white spot of positive and vice every positive is a negative.

I hope you and your family can find the balance.