Need help w/pre-teen annual checkups!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2004
Need help w/pre-teen annual checkups!!
7
Thu, 05-06-2004 - 10:56am
Hi I am new here and I need help with one of my sons. I have 4 children, 2 boys 13, 11 and 2 girls 5,and 2. My question is this, does anyone know exactly what the pediatrician is looking for when durring an annual checkup they request to examine the genital areas? We were at a check up for my 11 year old yesterday and when confronted with this part of the exam he went balistic! My son absolutly refuses to submit to this part of the exam. The only way that I could see for this exam to be done would be to physically restrain him and I just dont want to do that to my son. I am concerned about what kind of psychological damage that would do. I promised my son that I would try to find out exactly what the doc is looking for and if this is not absolutly necessary for my sons safty and health we would forgo the exam. Please help me I just do not know what to do!

Thanks, Kathryn
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2003
Thu, 05-06-2004 - 11:30am

I'm sure there is more...but I know the check the testicals to see if they are where they should be.

Kim

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-05-1998
Thu, 05-06-2004 - 11:45am
Also, they are checking for any warning signs of testicular cancer. At my DS's 12 year old check-up, the pedi taught him the basics of doing a monthly testicular self-exam (which is for guys what a monthly breast self-exam is for girls).

Elizabeth (lurker)

mom of three big boys--13, 11, and 8; and one lil gal, 18 months

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2003
Thu, 05-06-2004 - 4:04pm

Hello Kathryn,


I'm so glad you found us and hopped right in.

Sherrie Rainbow

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2003
Thu, 05-06-2004 - 4:09pm

Hi Elizabeth,


I'm glad you popped out to help here.

Sherrie Rainbow

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-05-1998
Fri, 05-07-2004 - 10:15am
Sherrie--I'd have to say that farther apart is MUCH easier! My first two were two years apart, so I had two in diapers, plus one in the "terrible twos" and a newborn. There are three years between numbers 2 and 3, and I was dealing with a lot jealousy from the 3-year-old over the new baby.

With such a big gap between numbers 3 and 4 (can you say "surprise!") I wasn't dealing with any jealousy (my 8-year-old has adored his baby sister from the moment she came home from the hospital), and I'm also not dealing with the sheer physical responsibilities of dealing with more than one helpless child. The older three can get their own snacks, dress themselves, get their own baths/showers, and entertain themselves (and each other). They've also great helpers with the baby, so my load is very light this time around.

That said, there are also advantages to having kids close together. My two oldest are very good friends and play together very well. With the baby, there will come a time when she effectively becomes an only child--as her brothers leave home for college. And with the gender difference, I don't think she'll have a sibling to be especially close to, the way that the boys are with each other.

Elizabeth

mom to three big boys (13, 11, and 8) and one lil gal (18 months)

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2003
Fri, 05-07-2004 - 3:46pm

Thanks so much for replying.

Sherrie Rainbow

Avatar for cl_janetlh
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Sat, 05-08-2004 - 8:25pm

Welcome, Kathryn!


Perhaps your son was surprised and blind-sided by this exam? I know I explain to the kids before each checkup that the doctor may need to check "private parts", and that this is necessary for good health. Even though we're modest, doctors are a different catagory, and it's OK for them to look.


How did your dr. handle it? Perhaps you need to try a different doctor who does more explaining? Do you have a male doctor? If not, it might help to switch.


Would your son be more comfortable if you were in the room, or out of the room? Ask him. I know I have explained to the kids that I can step out for the exam, and then come in for the discussion. I also let them know that I can step out if they have any questions for the doctor, and that that's perfectly OK and their business. I think it is VERY important for kids this age to learn to start speaking to the doctor themselves about any concerns they have.


As of last year (age 11), the kids still wanted me to stay in the room with them, but I gave them the option. Since they now separate Sam and Rachel (boy/girl twins) for their check-ups, the doc and I were bopping in and out of the two exam rooms! Sam did actually ask some questions about his boy parts, but didn't mind I was there. He was so cute, and the doctor was so kind. That is how a pediatrician should be!


Good luck, and let us know if we've helped at all.

Janet


Jewish Family Life