Need some advice

Visitor (not verified)
anonymous user
Registered: 12-31-1969
Need some advice
Sun, 08-05-2012 - 9:38pm


I am Jayda, I have an 11 yr old super daughter.  She is a good kid, good student, etc.    My issue is, she has a little girl in her class, (a very small school I may add) and has known this child since pre-k,  They never really got along from the beginning for some reason, but about 2 yrs ago,  she was invited over and they played so well, I mean great.  She spent the night several times, sometimes even the entire weekend.  They play well, never argue, the girl is kind, polite, and her parents are good people, a little odd, but nice.  The issue is, when they go to school, she is mean to my daughter, ignores her and is downright cruel.  I have witnessed it myself and the child wont even look at me!!  :smileyhappy:     However, after school, she is calling and of course all summer she calls, we have a pool, so I think this is also a plus, she wants to swim.    She is obsessed with this other girl in the class who is a bully IMHO and wants to be friends with her at school b/c she is popular.  This past May, we took this kid out to dinner and to a special outing that we paid for and the next day, she would not speak to my child.  It really made me mad.  I try and bite my tongue and not be negative or say bad things about my child's friends, but it just makes me upset that she treats my child so poorly.    Now, the little girl is calling again and to be honest, I am fed up,  Am I being silly by not wanting my child to hang out with her?  I just feel so conflicted and childish myself for feeling this way, but hey, I love my daughter and dont want her to be used.  Any feelings on this??  Thanks!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-1999
In reply to:
Mon, 08-06-2012 - 5:19pm
I don't blame you for not wanting your DD to hang around this girl. I am not sure what to do about the situation, though. I guess I would encourage your DD to make other friends, and to limit socializing with this child. I would not continue to invite her over to your house and I definitely would not take this kid on any more outings. It is not acceptable for this child to treat your DD badly.
Community Leader
Registered: 07-26-1999
In reply to:
Mon, 08-06-2012 - 10:32am

Hi Jayda, and welcome to the board! Let me ask you first, how does your daughter feel about this girl? Does she bring up how she feels when this girl snubs her at school?  Sometimes, especially if your daughter doesn't seem outwardly upset by it, letting her navigate the friendship on her own.  She may understand or see some things that you may not since she is also going to school with these other girls on a daily basis.  If she is indicating she is upset by it, it may be a matter of just talking to her about standing up for herself and her feelings with this girl.  I wish I had some other good advice or input, but I don't. I am hoping someone with a similar experience or good advice will come along and chime in.