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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2004
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Thu, 02-19-2004 - 8:20am
Good morning, Im new to this board, but not to Ivillage. Im usually at the military parents board, as we are a Navy family. My daughter is 10, will be 11 in March, and I also have a 6 yr. old son. My daughter is a generally well adjusted kid, socially happy, and academically doing really well. We have a good relationship, still, a few bumps here and there but nothing serious YET!!!! My question is this....she hasnt been really all that into boys, her first two best friends were boys so I dont think it was a major deal with her. She has mentioned a few "crushes" in the past but it never went more than that. So, just a few days before Valentine's day she mentions this boy, Ben, who likes her. Now, she all of a sudden likes him. I told her that she doesnt have to like him just because he likes her. She sais that rumor is that he is going to give her a stuffed bear and some candy for Valentines day. Im thinking, wonderful, what kid has the money or the guts to actually do this, so Im going to have to comfort her when she comes home embarressed with nothing. I tried to gently let her know that maybe he wouldnt be able to get her something, so dont expect it. Well, dont you know the kid shows up at school Valentines day with a bear and candy......she actually FLOATED off the bus!!!!! So, every day since then it has been Ben this and Ben that, Ben told her that he told his mom about her and so on....actually, very sweet. So, my question is, how far do I let this go? How far is out of hand? Do I just let her enjoy this? Do I bring her back to Earth? Is she too young for this? I dont want to encourage and I dont want to discourage..........I dont know what to do!!!! It all seems quit innocent, but, I just dont want her focus to all be on this Ben kid.....HELP!!! Im not ready for this!! THANKS!!!!!!!!!! Stephanie

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2003
In reply to: nurseperry
Thu, 02-19-2004 - 8:52am

Hello and welcome Stephanie.

Sherrie Rainbow

Avatar for cl_janetlh
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
In reply to: nurseperry
Thu, 02-19-2004 - 12:42pm

Welcome, Stephanie!


My dd (11yo 6th grader) has a best friend who is a boy right now, but she doesn't seem to have a crush on her. He did give her a nice Valentine present, though, so maybe he has a crush on her? It was very appropriate - he decorated a bag for her, and put a bag of candy hearts in it that I'm sure he didn't give to everyone in the class. So, I can't tell you what it's like to have a girl with a crush who talks about him all the time.


I agree with Sherrie. If it's not affecting your dd's school work and other activities, let her enjoy the attention. It will probably fade in a couple of weeks. If you see it starting to take a course that concerns you, then it's time to step in. I wouldn't encourage or discourage it, just be a good listener and acknowledge her feelings. After all, you want her to talk to you about how she's feeling now, so she will when she's older, too!


Glad you found our board and jumped in with us. Hope to see you here often! Please let us know how this crush continues, too.

Janet


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