New here. My 12 y.o. is making me crazy!
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New here. My 12 y.o. is making me crazy!
| Thu, 04-17-2008 - 10:12pm |
I have a 12 y.o. son that is driving me up a wall! He is in the 6th grade (almost done w/ it, may 22) and he is so mouthy, backtalk, crooked looks, getting in trouble with school, talking out, class clown, yesterday got in an arranged school fight and the cops showed up at my house! I'm at my wits end. Seriously. I have 4 kids, so it doesn't make life easy. HELP! I told him he will prob'ly go live with his dad for the summer (who is about 20 minutes away from me). and he didn't like that too much. I cannot deal with it! I'm a horrible mom. I feel awful. How did I raise such a kid! He's a straight A student too. On student council. What gives! ? Ideas? Please help.

First of all, welcome. I just joined recently and these ladies are wonderful.
Second, I am sorry for what your 12 yo is putting you through. My 10 yo is at the other end of that. Bad grades in school, ADHD so he can't sit still, disruptive in class, won't do his homework (he is still up now 9:50pm MST and still working on homework from Tuesday). I would love to send him to live with his dad but his dad lets him get away with everything. And that is what my son would want because his dad is trying to make my son like him so he will want to live with him instead of me. They are like buddy-buddy. I really feel for you. I hope you can figure out something that will work for you soon. Sending you tons of {{{HUGS}}}. You are welcome to talk if you need to. I wish I could help you out.
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Welcome. I'm going to ask a few questions to try and be more constructive with my advice.
First, how long has it been going on? Have there been upheavals/friend/school changes? Could there be any bullying going on that he is hiding with bravado?
Next, what are the consequences for the behaviors? Are they enforced or do they change depending on your mood?
And finally, Is there any way to avoid going to live with dad for the summer if it's making you and your son feel bad?
I'm sorry I've left you with a load of questions but sometimes I find that as I start to answer the questions(I will sit and do this with myself quite frequently when I have problems with my kids) I can see something I missed before or based on the answers I give someone will suggest what's worked for them.
And (((hugs))) you aren't a bad mother!! If you were you wouldn't be asking for suggestions and you wouldn't care about what he did
Hi and welcome. Sorry you had to find our board under such difficult circumstances. Does his school
If it has been a whole life thing then it may be the time to ask for outside help. You have done so well up till now in dealing with it but if it's starting to escalate then this is the time to try something different. He sounds a very bright boy and with that may come boredom in school so it could be why he backtalks and gets in fights for the thrill/risk buzz of it. I agree with the other ladies here that outside help might be the way to go as this is affecting your whole family and making it difficult to do things with or focus on the others I'd imagine. I have a very challenging 6 yo dd and 3 other children as well and life becomes one long juggling act to try and divide myself and still keep th behaviors in check.
The other board you might want to ask on is the spirited/high needs child one. The cl there is a font of knowledge on behaviorally challenging children. Here's a link http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-psspirited
All great points.
Well socially I think he's a mess in school. and I believe something needs to be done b4 going to junior high next year.
Reading your post, this was actually going to be my first question... Is next year his first year of Junior High School.