Newbie and worried about son

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2003
Newbie and worried about son
2
Mon, 07-21-2003 - 7:10pm
I am new to this board and hoping to get some advice. My son will be ten at beginning of September and going into 4th grade. He is a very sweet,thoughtful boy. I am worried about him and "friends" in our neighborhood. We moved here in October and he has a few friends around but there is this one that makes fun of him and tells him to go home when ds goes out to play. For instance we told ds to be home at a certain time one night and this kid held him down to make him late. They are the same age and were in class together. I can't get much out of ds but he says this boy is not being mean. My sister in law lives on the street where most of the kids hang out and saw this kid and one or two others throwing rocks at ds as he rode his bike by a few months ago and my husband said something to the kid. I have advised ds to stay away from him and told him that kids who pick on other kids have their own insecurities and bullying makes them feel better about themselves. Problem is this kid seems to be pretty popular in the neighborhood. My son has barely left the house this summer and it is tearing my heart out to think of these kids jumping on the band wagon and being mean to such a wonderful boy. I tell ds just ignore them and so on and I'm so worried this will have a long term effect on him. Another thing is I'm due to have my second ds in a few weeks. Sorry this is so long but I need some advice. This is breaking my heart b/c ds used to make friends so easily. The one good friend he had has been away all summer. Please help!!!!!
Avatar for cl_janetlh
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Mon, 07-21-2003 - 8:12pm
It is so hard to know how to handle bullies. One idea to help your ds play more in the neighborhood might be to have him invite kids to your house to play, one at a time, and see who he hits it off with. Once the other kids are away from this problem boy, you can see who your son hits it off with and encourage that friendship. Then, when your son heads up the street, he'll have a couple of friends to hang with and can ignore the bully.

Perhaps something in this article from ParentSoup will be helpful, even though the situation is somewhat different:

http://ivillage.directhit.com/fcgi-bin/RedirURL.fcg?url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.parentsoup.com%2Felementary%2Fbully%2Fqas%2F0%2C%2C166448_225537%2C00.html&qry=bullies&rnk=2&src=DHCS_IVIL_SRCH&jcustid=ivil&jtransid=07255387ivil105680

Best wishes for your new ds! I'm sorry you and your ds going through this right now. Welcome to our board. I'm glad you posted, and I know you'll get some other responses.

Janet

Janet


Jewish Family Life

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2003
Tue, 07-22-2003 - 11:46am
Hello and welcome to the board. I don't have any specific advice. I really liked Janet's wonderful idea for inviting some of the neighborhood boys down one at a time. It's been my experience that two children can play together much more easily than a group, when there isn't the peer pressure to act a certain way and "go along" with the group.

Congratulations on your newest son, soon to be arriving. Your sons will have a larger age gap than mine, but not much larger (there is an eight year gap between my sons). They just adore each other and it's been a lot of fun to watch them play together. Sean isn't very demonstrative (doesn't like hugs, etc) but he *insists* on giving Scott a hug and kiss every night before bed. Scott, for his part, just idealizes Sean and wants to do everything that he does (which is rather scary at times ;-)).

Best Always,

Sherrie

co-cl

Sherrie Rainbow