Is this normal?
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| Sat, 06-02-2007 - 2:12pm |
HI, I'm Monique, I'm a stay at home homeschooling mom, with a 11 year old little girl Named Lissa. (accually Clarrissa, we just call her Lissa) My hubbys an electricain by trade. I'm new here, and have a few questions......
My just turned 11 year old, has been responsability wise going down hill since age 9. It seems latley she forgets EVERYTHING!! It drives me nuts. She has a cat, shes suppose to be responsible for. Shes expected to feed water, and clean out her poop box. She has four specific chores shes suppose to do everyday, It never changes. Yet she doesn't do them, or forgets what they are. How can she forget when they NEVER change? Is this a normal tween thing? I've tryed all kinds of disapline with her, Talking, grounding, time outs ect ect......... Any ideas?

My DD is 10, and seems to have completely lost her mind as well. :-)
Monique, glad to have you join us!
Yeah the lack of responsibility thing---welcome to the age and it really won't and dosen't get better!
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Monique, welcome to the age of 11! Your daughter is just like mine. I had mine at 40, after infertility surgery, so believe me, she was wanted! My previously super-organized, neat, perfectionist princess can't find her head some mornings. Is your daughter approaching her period, or just starting to develop breast buds? Mine has her period already, is nearly as tall as me (5'4"). She used to get straight As in school (Catholic school, but alas, this is her last year, as it only goes to fifth grade; home schooling is a definite possibility, as I'm a certified teacher). This year she forgets her homework, forgets to pick her clothes off the floor, forgets to FEED HER RABBIT AND HAMSTER even though she lavishes them with love and attention! I think it's a phase. GOOD FOR YOU for homeschooling. It takes a special kind of dedication to do this. My daughter's best friend since kindergarten gets straight As now and it bugs my daughter, but she will be going to the same public school.
Do you have any other children? I would suggest letting her experience the repercussions for her forgetting to do her chores. I KNOW THIS IS HARD!!! I'm such a softie! I DO know that yelling does not work. Very immediate, very positive reinforcement for when she does remember does work. I give her a quarter for every time she remembers to do her chores without me reminding her. If she forgets, she has to pay ME a quarter. Actually, there's a general jar in the kitchen. The hardest thing for me to do is NOT to feed her rabbit, especially if it is hot out and the poor thing has not water!
Let me know if you're going to try the quarter thing. How is she otherwise? Happy and cheerful? Also, how do you keep her busy socially as a home-schooled child? I'd be interested in knowing in case I decide that's the best thing for my daughter in the future. The middle school she's going to is the best in the county, but the high school is the WORST!
I think it's totally normal. My boys have have 4 things to do before school. They need to: eat, get dressed, brush teeth and make their beds. Seems simple enough, right? Well, unless I give them a list to keep them on track their Father and I go nuts hounding them. Chore charts are great or the whole family.
http://www.successfulfamilychores.com/Chore_Charts/ChoreChart10-12yrold.pdf
Good Luck!