ok, I know I don't come here often but

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2003
ok, I know I don't come here often but
12
Thu, 10-30-2003 - 2:56pm

bare with me.

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Avatar for suzyk2118
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Registered: 07-30-1997
Thu, 10-30-2003 - 3:45pm
All I can do is say I can relate. DS11 isn't outgoing, and isn't that into Halloween. I told him to invite a friend over; they can choose to T or T, or hand out candy, or just hang out and watch a scary movie. Well, his best buddy has a family obligation (annually they go out with a family of a boy he went to preschool with), so that's out. Another buddy said he was just at so-and-so's so maybe he'll come to our house this time (gee!). And the one true friend he had a couple of years back, right in the neighborhood, always has a family gathering with another family friend (3 kids in each family, so they make it a party) and you don't dare get in the way..although one of the older kids asked a friend who has a brother ds's age, so they got to join in...talk about hurt feelings...so I can definitely commiserate. I know ds won't go T or T'ing on his own; he kinda feels too old for it. I figure maybe I'll just get a good movie for us to watch in case his friend doesn't pan out... I can't wait for Saturday.

Sue, who loved Halloween as a kid

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Registered: 05-02-2003
Thu, 10-30-2003 - 3:54pm

((((Julie)))), I wish I had more than the hugs to offer.

Sherrie Rainbow

Avatar for keke0116
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Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 10-31-2003 - 6:04am

Julie, you pretty much answered your own question ... We always try to NOT have our kids fall into the same traps or problems we did as kids.

Nancy 

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Registered: 09-26-2003
Fri, 10-31-2003 - 8:48am

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Avatar for keke0116
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Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 11-01-2003 - 7:23am

I think it's very natural that we want our kids to share in the happy memories that we did of our childhood, and we want to avoid for them the negative ones ... so we probably go overboard each way.

Nancy 

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Registered: 09-26-2003
Sat, 11-01-2003 - 9:33am

Sometimes I think about talking to him about these things but then I second guess myself and then turn back thinking that I am just putting too much spotlight on the whole situation with him.

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Avatar for cl_janetlh
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Registered: 03-19-2003
Sat, 11-01-2003 - 3:05pm

Julie,


I'm glad it all worked out for your kids. Sounds like your son ended up with the right friend for the occasion!

Janet


Jewish Family Life

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-02-2003
Sun, 11-02-2003 - 2:46pm
I understand what you are going through, but have faith. Try not to correct your youth through your children. The experiences we had as children happened in a different day and age. Children cope with things in ways that sometimes parents just don't understand. Your son may be shy or unsure of himself in social circles that is going to be something that he has to figure out for himself. Don't try to be too motherish, (even I find that hard to do) just be there when your child needs you.

With regard to Halloween, here is something to think about. Some children never outgrow it but some do. Children may sometimes feel they "need" to go trick or treating because it is something mom/dad finds exciting for them and they don't want to disappoint. Others may make excuses not to go because it's easier for them. Either way, sometimes it's what the kids don't say is what needs to be heard. Try talking to you child without concentrating on Halloween. It might be something as simple your child growing up faster than even they realize. Have faith.

Avatar for cl_janetlh
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Sun, 11-02-2003 - 6:31pm

Welcome! I guess by your name that you have boy/girl twins? How old are they? I have 11yo boy/girl twins, Sam and Rachel, in 6th grade.


Glad you found us and jumped in with replies. Hope to see you often.

Janet


Jewish Family Life

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2003
Sun, 11-02-2003 - 10:50pm

He sure did and he also spent the weekend with him.

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