Old Friends vs. New Friends

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2004
Old Friends vs. New Friends
Tue, 01-06-2004 - 2:44pm
My family moved to a new town almost 2 years ago. It's not far from our home town but far enough that my kids had to attend a new school.

My daughter (who is turning 10 in February and is in the 4th grade) wants a sleep-over with both her old friends from her home town and the new friends she has made here. She has 2 friends from her old school, one of which she has been friends with since Kindergarten. My daughter has maintained a relationship with these friends since we moved. We have had them here and she has been to their homes for celebrations and just getting together. She has 3 - 4 friends at the new school that she also wants to invite.

My problem is that I'm not sure it's a good idea to have one party mixing her old friends with her new friends. I think the friends might compete for her attention. What do you think? Should I have 2 separate sleep overs or combine the friends from the old and new?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2003
Tue, 01-06-2004 - 3:07pm

Hi - glad you popped in and posted such a great question.

Sherrie Rainbow

Avatar for suzyk2118
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-1997
Wed, 01-07-2004 - 10:24am
I'd have the same qualms; I'd go for two get-togethers (don't both have to be sleepovers; one could be movie and pizza out, or something). DS has had a party where one kid wasn't exactly in with the rest, although he was a good friend of DS, and it just didn't go as well as a small gathering of friends. He's not into big crowds; he'd rather have two or three close friends over, but now I know they really all have to be good buddies for it to work well.



Avatar for cl_janetlh
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Wed, 01-07-2004 - 8:54pm

What does your dd think? How would she feel if she were invited to one of the "old" friend's parties and there were new kids there she didn't know from the old days? How does she think her old and new friends be at just joining in whatever activity you have planned?

I understand your concern, but I'd probably go ahead and try it after talking to your dd about your concerns. My kids always have friends that don't necessarily all know each other to their parties, and it's never been a problem. Growing up, I always had different groups of friends - neighborhood, school, religious school- it was never a problem. In fact, through knowing me, they knew each other when most of us ended up at the same high school.

I think it depends more on the particular kids and what you have planned. Go with your gut feeling, knowing the girls involved.

Glad you found our board and jumped in with this post!


Jewish Family Life

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-1998
Mon, 01-12-2004 - 11:57am
My son also have different groups of friends. This past fall b-day party (10) was his last big party. I let him invite from both sets, although there were more from school than in the neighborhood. Next year, he is allowed to invite 2-4 to spend the night. I will suggest to him that they need to be from the same "group" as to be really fun for all. In your situation, I like the suggestion from another person. If you want to do it, do two parties, but they both don't have to be overnight.

It is really hard when a child has tons of good friends. YOu don't want anybody left out or feelings hurt.


iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2003
Tue, 01-13-2004 - 12:31am

Welcome a'board!!

Sherrie Rainbow