the opposite sex

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-12-2008
the opposite sex
9
Thu, 06-26-2008 - 3:01pm
Hi! I am not a mother of this age group (yet), but I do have a question. We found out the gender of our baby yesterday so of course we had to go around showing off the u/s pictures. When we showed them to dh's aunt she said in front of her 10 yo daughter, "yup, that's definitely a girl. No sign of a little turtle there." The daughter asked what she meant by that comment, and when she didn't get an answer she slinked off. My question is, at what time do you talk with your child about the opposite sex and the difference between boys and girls? I remember being so embarrassed at that age and getting a lot of information from my friends instead of broaching the subject with my parents... would you (or did you) initiate that talk or did you let your kids come to you?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-12-2008
In reply to: focusly
Thu, 06-26-2008 - 3:02pm
whoops I meant to post this in the next folder down... oh well

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2006
In reply to: focusly
Thu, 06-26-2008 - 5:13pm

Congratulations!!! Welcome and thanks for dropping in. I have an 8 yo and an 11 yo and we've always been up front with them about the difference between boys and girls. I can't even tell you when we started talking to them about it but I'm thinking when they were toddlers and began to get curious about their bodies. We used the correct names for private parts as well. It helps them understand that it's not something to be ashamed of or secretive about and paves the way for more in depth communication later on.

Best of luck!!

Ami

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-28-2004
In reply to: focusly
Thu, 06-26-2008 - 5:31pm

I have to laugh. For one no one can tell what its going to be until "the child" starts developing its genitals...and that does not happen in the first trimester.....

second if a child is old enough to ask a question then the child is old enough to get an answer. you do not want the child "finding its own answers". But every parent is different. Its all up to you. You get to parent your own child. You get to choose what is taught and when and how..... good luck and congrats.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-15-2007
In reply to: focusly
Thu, 06-26-2008 - 5:40pm
Wow-- 10 seems REALLY old to be kept in the dark about boys' body parts!!!! I can't even remember an age, it's always just been a naturally evolving subject around here. That is about the age that we first had the birds & the bees talk, though. We initiated the topic because we found out that DS and friends were discussing it on the bus and didn't want him to get too full of completely wrong info... I recently also told my 8-year-old about the mechanics of sex; I know that seems young, but he kept asking questions ("how can I look like Daddy when I come from Mom's belly?") and he was ready for the answers. I'm sure there are many more conversations on the horizon.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: focusly
Thu, 06-26-2008 - 6:02pm
Well, my DD was an only so didn't have any little brothers to see the differences however she became obsessed with human anatomy around age 5 and used to take out anatomy books from the library so she knew very well that boys and girls were different and every anatomical detail about them. LOL I never had to explain it to her. By age 10 most kids know very well what the differences are. If she has no clue that boys have penises and girls then I think she needs to have the talk soon. JMO

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-12-2008
In reply to: focusly
Thu, 06-26-2008 - 6:33pm

That's what I thought too, but I didn't want to say anything. I was kinda shocked that she didn't know the anatomical differences yet, but then they have really conservative views on raising children. I was just curious, thanks everyone :)

And btw, I'm 21 weeks, way past the first trimester.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-29-2001
In reply to: focusly
Thu, 06-26-2008 - 7:21pm

I am sure that your 10 year old niece knows the physical difference between boys and girls. I am sure that her confusion comes from your sister's terminology. I have never heard someone refer to a penis as a turtle and I don't see the resemblance myself so no wonder for her confusion.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2004
In reply to: focusly
Thu, 06-26-2008 - 8:36pm

Maybe the girl was confused because the woman said "a turtle" instead of the proper name and the girl was asking literally what do you mean by there's no turtle?


iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2004
In reply to: focusly
Thu, 06-26-2008 - 8:39pm

My son started asking questions around age 2. Like the other poster, we told him the differences and called them by their proper names. He didn't start using euphamisms for them until he started school.


I think she HAS to know the difference. I think she was probably literally thinking about