OT - Need opinions...

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2006
OT - Need opinions...
3
Tue, 07-08-2008 - 3:49pm

I've got a little extended family thing I need some opinions on... My cousin (who I'm not all that close to and is about 13 years younger than I am) is getting married in August. I got an invitation to his fiance's bridal shower yesterday. Here's the thing, it's a two hour drive (100 miles one way) away. That wouldn't be such a big deal but we're making the same drive each of the FOUR weekends following that. First to take Evan to camp, next to take Megan to the same camp, third to pick them both up, and fourth to go to the actual wedding. The shower, camp, and wedding are literally within 15 minutes of each other but all take place on different weekends.

I've met the bride once and she is VERY nice. My mom is helping with some of the planning and would also be at the shower. I wouldn't know more than four people there. The bride had a tough childhood (Mom left the family Christmas Eve Day when she was 13), works three jobs, is working on selling her house so she can move in with my cousin, and is the type that really needs approval from others. She could really use the support and I'm sure it would make her feel like part of the family to know that people are coming from so far away. 5 weekends in a row is A LOT. Oh, and the Thursday after the wedding is the kids' first day of school. I do a lot for my mom's family and I'm beginning to resent everyone assuming that I'll always be at family functions. I'm supposed drag my family for two hours one way so we're always there but no one will make the effort to come here. There is no way in h*** that any member of my family would drive to my house 5 weekends in a row.

I really need some unbiased opinions here. Please help!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-11-2007
Tue, 07-08-2008 - 3:58pm
Sounds like you really don't want to go since it really is a drive.I know I would not want to go either.If the bride really needs approval and support,why not send a gift and aong with the gift sent her a nice note welecoming her to the family plus saying how sorry you are that you can not attend the function.At least this way she may not feel slighted(hopfully).Your reasons are sound for not attending,just find a nice way to put that in a note.In this case I would definatly send a gift,even if I did not attend.

Laura mom to Gabrielle


 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2007
Tue, 07-08-2008 - 4:22pm

I think it's perfectly acceptable to not go but to just send a gift.

jan siggy
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-28-2004
Tue, 07-08-2008 - 5:14pm
I got invited to my brothers girlfriends sister n laws baby shower. (If you followed that good for you) I knew no one. Even once i showed up these people were asking who I was. I did not know anyone and barely my brothers girlfriend. Anyway, Im sure they will understand and if they dont well they should. Just send a gift and a card through your mom. Dont get all "roped into" their drama....... Sounds as if you have enough drama in your life already with driving back and forth so many weekends. take care.