Perfect grades throughout grade school

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-25-2003
Perfect grades throughout grade school
7
Tue, 11-25-2003 - 12:01pm
My son is 10 and had had nearly straight A's throghout his grade school years with the exception of one B. This report card he actually went from a A to A- in math. Which was as 91.5 %. My son is very proud of his A average. He brought home a B on one of his test a few weeks ago and it seemed to bother him. He thought I would be disappointed. I told him that a B is not bad, and nobodys perfect. I always tell him I'm not as much concerned with the grades, as I am with that he always just tries his best. So now that hes got that 91.5% in math i almost feel like I have to push him in the math department so that he won't disappoint himself if he were to actually drop down to a B on his next report card in math. Im not sure how'd he'd react..its been so long since hes had one. ( I think 3rd grade.)I feel funny approaching the teacher about finding out what the "problem" is in math.(like an A is really a problem) It seems kind of shallow or overbearing to be worried about an A-
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2003
Tue, 11-25-2003 - 1:20pm

I would see how he continues to do.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-25-2003
Tue, 11-25-2003 - 1:36pm
Thanks for your reply. It's good to know that someone else understands where I'm coming from. I guess I'll just wait and see how it goes.
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Registered: 05-02-2003
Tue, 11-25-2003 - 3:10pm

Welcome to our little corner of the internet Winky.

Sherrie Rainbow

Avatar for suzyk2118
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Registered: 07-30-1997
Tue, 11-25-2003 - 4:38pm
We moved from a school where ds got tons of 'easy As' to one of the top two public districts in the metro area (we 'bought a school district', as dh says, and it does not have things like 'honor roll') where he is more in the A-/B+ range, with a lot more challenging work. We find this a GOOD thing because he's much more challenged, and their g/t pullout is much better. To me, if the child is doing his/her best and the work keeps him/her challenged and eager to learn, AND the child 'gets it', I'm not that concerned about the grades. If a lower grade is due to goofing off but ds understands the material, that's another story.

Sue

Avatar for cl_janetlh
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Registered: 03-19-2003
Tue, 11-25-2003 - 8:48pm

Welcome! I do understand what you mean. My son had a terrific report card, but mostly A-, when I know he's capable of A work. He does make the effort and does all his work. I'm wondering if he's just still learning to check his work on an exam, and whether maturity will get him a few more points. I also stress that we expect best effort. My kids don't beat themselves up about grades, unless they have a really poor exam. They're happy with their report cards, which *were* very good, and I praised them for their efforts. But, I'm still left feeling they can be a bit better. Still, it was the first quarter of 6th grade, so I don't stress about it. As long as their class placements are correct and they are learning, the grades will be more important later on.


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Janet


Jewish Family Life

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Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 12-01-2003 - 11:27pm

I don't think you need to push him at all. He sounds a lot like my dd, she does most of her own pushing. Also I don't think it would hurt your son to get a B at all. He might be disappointed, but its going to happen eventually. If he gets that B maybe he will see that you don't expect perfection from him and that you love him just the same. However if you do push him at all, he may think that you don't want him to get less than perfect grades. He sounds like he is doing well in school and there is really nothing to be concerened about at all.


Leesa

I'll hold my head high
I'll never let this define
The light in my eyes
Love myself, give it Hell
I'll take on t

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Registered: 01-13-2004
Tue, 01-13-2004 - 1:47am
My 10-year-old son is on the same straight A track as yours and beats himself up when he makes less than an A on any assignment or test. I've tried not to appear disappointed when it happens - I say the same thing as you do, that no one is perfect - and it seems to help a little.

I think it's really important to make your son aware that you love him, not because of the grades he makes, but because he's your son. "Perfect" children believe that parents love them only because they're always perfect and are afraid that they'll lose some approval if they make a "mistake," even an A- or B.

I think talking to a teacher about the A- in math or talking about it at length with your son, as if it were a problem, only exacerbates the situation. Then he'll really believe that there's a problem. If your son is disappointed at such a grade, chances are he's motivated enough to try even harder and probably doesn't need a lot of interference.

As a former perfectionistic child myself, I can understand your son's dilemma. While some children base their self-esteem on popularity or athleticism, your son is probably basing his on his academic excellence. To preserve his identity, he'll probably solve his own "problem" by analyzing where he went wrong and improving in that area. After all, he's a bright boy.

Good luck!