Privacy vs. Safety

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2005
Privacy vs. Safety
14
Sat, 02-25-2012 - 11:43pm

I have a 13 year old daughter, who was recently allowed to have a facebook account.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2005
Mon, 02-27-2012 - 11:40pm
I agree - the idea behind having her password is that I can see EVERYTHING. Whenever I deem it necessary. I had a situation where she was venting about a teacher. Despite the fact I had instructed her otherwise, she posting a veiled message about this person. I knew, as did her friends, exactly who she was talking about. The nature of the message was simply that she was frustrated. Nothing that anyone needed to worry - she deserves this right. But the lesson came with what was posted by her friends later - one of those comments was of a nature that I decided to log on and delete the entire string. I did it while I was at work - and had to tell her when I got home. She wasn't happy, but knew that she did not have a choice, and that it was the right thing to do given the circumstances. These posts can happen without their knowledge - if she is at school, and someone posts it on her wall, she won't see it for a while. Having that extra level of protection helps us out a ton.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2005
Tue, 02-28-2012 - 12:13am
Oh - I think that she thinks I am a smart person. Freaks her out sometimes, and it is hard for her to admit. She also understands (deep down) that I have her best interests in mind. Right now, it is highly annoying to her. I love her so much!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2005
Tue, 02-28-2012 - 1:46am
There are ways in which you can be blocked, if you are just her 'friend' on facebook. The only way that you can see everything that is posted is to log on to the facebook user. I have not researched the filters, but I am at the point that I need to take a look. You can sort folks into different groups, and then further filter your posts based on what group they are in. It is getting more and more advanced. I agree with the statement that when I was growing up, I said all kinds of things to my friends with regards to my parents (and they to me), but with the internet, there is the sense of permanence that we didn't have to worry about. Not ot mention, school officials and potential employers look at these things. The ramifications are far reaching in comparison to when we were growing up.

I did explain to DD that I wasn't going to snoop unless I was given a reason. I don't have the time or the patience to review every silly thing that they relay, to be honest.
Avatar for mahopac
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-1997
Tue, 02-28-2012 - 11:32am

IMO you're thinking of this the right way.

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