Public or private school?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-26-2007
Public or private school?
21
Mon, 10-08-2007 - 1:54am
I am curious as to what you think about the differences with public vs. private schools. My kids attend public. I attended public throughout college. My girls are doing great in school, but I'm concerned about the lack of morals my older DD is being exposed to by some of her so-called "friends". I have posted recently about my concern about kids dating so young, etc. and how I will try to protect my girls from bad influences...but I think it's too late.
13 yo DD went to a friends house last night for a sleepover. She was ready to come home at 7:30 am this morning! One main reason was that the girls were talking about "nasty things some other girls in school were doing with the boys." She told me it was gross. She wouldn't tell me exactly what they were saying...but she said she was very offended. The girls did mention they heard a girl at the school had an abortion! In 8th grade!! My DD told me she was very offended by it all and asked the subject to be changed...they ignored her. This talk out of these girls, except for one that was there, surprised me.
I am now thinking that maybe private school would have a better moral influence. I'm glad I've raised a DD that was uncomfortable hearing about things these girls were talking about...and I'm sure they weren't just talking about making out.
Also, this school is one of the best middle schools in our district.
Anyhow, just curious if any of you have experienced the differences with public vs. private schools with your kids or with your own experience growing up.
I know there are kids like this at every school, more than likely, but I'm thinking there would be fewer kids like this in a private school.
What do you think?
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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2003
Mon, 10-08-2007 - 7:20am

My husband and I grew up in public schools.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-11-2007
Mon, 10-08-2007 - 7:57am
I honestly would not choose to send my child to a private school because I thought it would be moral.People who have money can be just as immoral as people who don't.Private school kids probably do drugs,drink and have sex at the same rate as public school kids.Now if you feel your kids could get a better education at the private school I'd say go for it.Also,look at how involved the parents are with their kids lives.If the private school has very involved parents,there is a fairly good chance that the kids are being raised with a good moral compass,the same goes for the public school kids.Unfortuantly kids are going to talk about sex when they get together,more than likly they were talking a lot of trash talk,and good for your dd for speaking up to them and coming home and talking to you.I do admitt I was shocked last year when in the 5th grade fav.Saw 3 was their fav movie and South Park their fav TV show.I'd never let my dd see either of these.Of course they do let you vote a number of times so on group of kids probably stuffed the ballot box.I will admit I am thrilled that my dd is in all advanced classes.Not so much for the reason that she is advanced.It is just that a lot of the kids in these classes seem nicer and still act more like 6th graders,for the most part these kids come from very involved famielies.Not that she isn't friends with some great kids that are not advanced,its just that they are more spread out.If you are really concerned and have a private school to look into definatly look into it.Howevr,just remember that private schools have the same problems as public schools.The one good point is they can kick kids out.Howevr,they womn't kick kids out for talking about sex,if they don't hear them.

Laura


mom to Gabrielle

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 10-08-2007 - 8:59am

I think it depends on the school.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-17-2004
Mon, 10-08-2007 - 9:06am

I don't know why you would think that a private school

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2005
Mon, 10-08-2007 - 9:39am

I believe that the differences between public and private schools will vary from school to school.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-26-2007
Mon, 10-08-2007 - 9:56am
Yeah, what's funny is I do know this family she slept over with. I thought their DD was better than this kind of talk. But, I guess kids change.
I'm glad homeschooling works for you. Do you have a group of kids that gets together that are homeschooled?
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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-26-2007
Mon, 10-08-2007 - 10:04am
The private schools I would look into would be Christian. They are a lot smaller, so I think even though they would possibly be in the same town, there would be fewer kids and fewer bad influences because of the possible higher moral standards.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-26-2007
Mon, 10-08-2007 - 10:10am
BTW: found out my ex's girlfriend doesn't want DD to go to the high school where they live...heard it through the grapevine. I posted about my DD wanting to live with her dad next fall.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-1999
Mon, 10-08-2007 - 10:15am

Growing up, my private school friends were far more "corrupt" for lack of a better word. They often were actively trying to rebel and because parents of rougher kids were trying to "fix" them by sending them to private school, they had some of the worst. As an adult, I have friends with kids in private school. The adults do think it protects them but I've also seen how some of those kids treat their parents and act when mom isn't around. You can't assume that private school harbors all the "good" kids.


Honestly, it's a school by school thing in my opinion. Much depends on the staff and the type of school they set-up. DD's middle school used to have a terrible reputation until they got a new principal with the dream of turning it into an arts and sciences school. They flooded the school with arts programs and advanced science classes. Suddenly, the typically geeky kids ended up with more power because that is what is valued at the school. In the last few years, it's totally turned around. DD is a 6th grader and loves it. I don't expect she'll never get exposed to something I prefer her not be but at the same time, if I protect her forever, she's never going to learn how to process and handle it. I'm not saying I'd throw her into one of our inner city schools with gang violence and such. However, a specialized suburb school where the teachers are still in control provides a safe enough experience for her to manage those little tidbits when they punch through.


So my answer, I'd take it school by school as opposed to private vs. public.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-26-2007
Mon, 10-08-2007 - 10:38am
Makes sense, thanks.
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