Not sure skinny is best but skinny is easier. Kristen is not skinny but she's not fat either. She's just sort of average. She's heavier than some of her friends and lighter than others. A few weeks ago she made a comment about having a big booty. I told her she did not have a big bootie and she commented on another girl who does, and well, she does. But she's about 5'7", 150 lbs and a competitive dancer so has a butt of steel I imagine. But the last week or so she has not been eating very well. Not eating much at lunch nor for dinner. Yesterday she was hungry around 4:00 so ate a sandwich but then didn't want any dinner. After she came home and had a shower at 9:00 she said she just wanted a drink, she did make herself a burrito but she wasn't really all that hungry.
So I don't know if she's decided she's not eating because she's fat, she claims she hasn't been feeling great, or maybe its just a phase. Because I am overweight I am always on the look out for her to be developing bad habits or get paranoid about her weight. But she has never talked about dieting or loosing weight.
I have never put her on a diet nor mentioned such a thing. I try to emphasize that you can eat anything and everything, just not lots of it. Obviously I don't always practice what I preach, but I don't emphasize weird diets and starving yourself. I wish she'd eat salad though. She detests lettuce of any kind but loves all other veggies, so we eat lots of the traditional stuff.
My dd has been eating terrible this summer, too. She isn't a morning person and never really feels like eating at that time, and this summer she is getting up later than during the school year. She's been totally skipping breakfast, skipping lunch, then eating a not too large meal around 3:00. She might also snack on a few sunflower seeds or something similar in the afternoon/evening. In the evening she looks around for a snack and it's not a large snack. I noticed that she brought a couple of cookies into her room last night and didn't eat them, and she has a couple of candy bars that either haven't been opened or just a small piece taken out of it.
We're usually an "everyone eats dinner together" type family, but her meals this past week have thrown everything off (and yesterday I commented that we would be going back to eating dinner together this week).
I've picked up a few groceries that I know dd particularly likes (fruits and vegs and salad ingredients) and will see how it goes this week. I am monitoring her closely (and she isn't aware of it).
Dd has never been on a diet and has never commented in any way that she felt she needed to be on one. She’s always been on the slender side of “just right”, but not skinny. No one would ever consider her fat or overweight, nor would she be considered skinny. Dd’s never complains about her body type and has never referred to her body in a negative way. She has commented negatively on other girls body types (who were both skinny and fat). She also knows two very thin girls from elementary school with weight image problems (one is anorexic, the other purges) and has wondered why they can't see themselves as they are (so thin) when they look in the mirror and why do they think of themself as fat when they are so far from it.
I personally feel healthy is best. I don’t admire bones sticking out unhealthily or rolls of fat, and I think that message may get through to my kids.
My ds (who is also a tween) has a wiry body type with long slender bones, but is not skinny.
That's exactly how it is Lynn. She doesn't like to eat breakfast at the best of times, then eats around 2-3 and then is not that hungry and usually eats a huge snack before bed but has been skipping that too. We do try to eat dinner together and she eats something but I can tell the enthusiasm is not there. Hmmm. Maybe its the weather. LOL We are almost at the end of school as well so that could be having an effect. I too am watching closely but not saying anything.
Caitie seems to be obsessed with this lately. She had never heard the term anorexia before reading in a magazine that Lindsay Lohan was anorexic. She asked me what it meant and I talked to her about it and explained how two of my close friends (both of whom she has met before) are recovering from anorexia. Now, whenever she sees a skinny person she makes a comment about how they are 'probably anorexic', so I really have to stress the point that some people are just naturally thin and don't have an eating disorder.
She has never been concious of her own body image, but she is small (height wise) for her age and hasn't really developed as much as the other girls in her class, so it hasn't seem to affected her yet.
Abigail has never been on a diet or mentioned wanting to be on one. She generally thinks well of her appearance, although she will occasionally ask if her thighs look fat. But I think this is because every other member of this family has really, really skinny (ugly, in fact) legs, so this appears "normal" to her. But I just point out her friends' normal size thighs.
She is a normal weight right now (about 5'4", 114 lbs), but I don't think she gets enough exercise, so I try to encourage her to find a sport she can do even in the winter. Running is ideal to me, but she really doesn't like it. The truth is, no one likes running when they first start, but then after a month, it becomes a pleasant habit. Just try convincing a very opinionated 12 year old of that.
My 10 yo DS is another story. He looks emaciated, although he does love high fat foods, drinks whole milk, eats huge breakfasts, etc. DH says he had the same build at that age, and he's very tall and lanky today, so it's probably genetic.
I am a step-mom of 3 girls. I married their Dad about a year ago after about 5 years of dating, so the transition for all of us went and has gone pretty well. I have gotten to be very close to them, especially the oldest and the youngest. The middle is coming along slowly but surely and I am very pleased with the progress we have made just within the last year.
I do, however, have a concern about my youngest SD. She is 11 and for the last couple of years has seemed to get more and more obsessed with not only her weight, but everyone elses weight too. She comments on weight a lot. I have had a few conversations with her about weight that she has brought up to me and they have definately thrown up a red flag. Her oldest sister is over weight and their mother has made the youngest 2 pretty worried about their weight. She (their mother) has gone as far as weighing the oldest in front of the other 2 and telling them they have to be careful b/c they don't want to "end up like her." The oldest is 19 now and is living with us. She went off to college last year and flunked out and has been with us since the day we got back from our honeymoon. She has been working part-time and went to a community college here locally and has now been accepted to a 4 year university and will be moving out in August. She has been living with us mainly b/c her mom has not made her welcome in her home. She (my SD) has grown up quite a bit over the last year and has come to realize all of the issues she has never faced before about her mom and how she has treated her. She has started seeing a psychologist within the last month, so I pray that she will be able to learn to better comprehend and cope with all that she has been through. Anyway, back to my youngest SD...
She has commented to me every time I lose or gain weight and has been very curious about it. I have an intestinal disease that sevierly affects my weight and what and how much I eat. I have made sure to educate her on my disease and how much I would love to not have to have 2 different sets of clothes...my "sick clothes" and my "healthy clothes." She not only comments on my weight, but her weight too. She keeps saying things like "Mom says I'm close to hitting my growth spirt and that I will 'grow into' my weight." Or she'll ask me about how I feel about "skinny" people and/or "fat" people. I try to answer everything the best way I know how to try to keep her from forming such strong opinions on weight, but I'm really worried about her. She has talked about how when she has been sick before she lost weight b/c she threw up so much. She has not talked about that in the same conversations we have had about weight, but none-the-less she has talked about it and that worries me.
Sorry for the length of this! I am just really concerned and new at all of this "parent stuff."
Anyone with any advice, words of wisdom, or just a bit of encouragement is welcome to reply!!!
Not sure skinny is best but skinny is easier. Kristen is not skinny but she's not fat either. She's just sort of average. She's heavier than some of her friends and lighter than others. A few weeks ago she made a comment about having a big booty. I told her she did not have a big bootie and she commented on another girl who does, and well, she does. But she's about 5'7", 150 lbs and a competitive dancer so has a butt of steel I imagine. But the last week or so she has not been eating very well. Not eating much at lunch nor for dinner. Yesterday she was hungry around 4:00 so ate a sandwich but then didn't want any dinner. After she came home and had a shower at 9:00 she said she just wanted a drink, she did make herself a burrito but she wasn't really all that hungry.
So I don't know if she's decided she's not eating because she's fat, she claims she hasn't been feeling great, or maybe its just a phase. Because I am overweight I am always on the look out for her to be developing bad habits or get paranoid about her weight. But she has never talked about dieting or loosing weight.
I have never put her on a diet nor mentioned such a thing. I try to emphasize that you can eat anything and everything, just not lots of it. Obviously I don't always practice what I preach, but I don't emphasize weird diets and starving yourself. I wish she'd eat salad though. She detests lettuce of any kind but loves all other veggies, so we eat lots of the traditional stuff.
My dd has been eating terrible this summer, too. She isn't a morning person and never really feels like eating at that time, and this summer she is getting up later than during the school year. She's been totally skipping breakfast, skipping lunch, then eating a not too large meal around 3:00. She might also snack on a few sunflower seeds or something similar in the afternoon/evening. In the evening she looks around for a snack and it's not a large snack. I noticed that she brought a couple of cookies into her room last night and didn't eat them, and she has a couple of candy bars that either haven't been opened or just a small piece taken out of it.
We're usually an "everyone eats dinner together" type family, but her meals this past week have thrown everything off (and yesterday I commented that we would be going back to eating dinner together this week).
I've picked up a few groceries that I know dd particularly likes (fruits and vegs and salad ingredients) and will see how it goes this week. I am monitoring her closely (and she isn't aware of it).
Lynn
Dd has never been on a diet and has never commented in any way that she felt she needed to be on one. She’s always been on the slender side of “just right”, but not skinny. No one would ever consider her fat or overweight, nor would she be considered skinny. Dd’s never complains about her body type and has never referred to her body in a negative way. She has commented negatively on other girls body types (who were both skinny and fat). She also knows two very thin girls from elementary school with weight image problems (one is anorexic, the other purges) and has wondered why they can't see themselves as they are (so thin) when they look in the mirror and why do they think of themself as fat when they are so far from it.
I personally feel healthy is best. I don’t admire bones sticking out unhealthily or rolls of fat, and I think that message may get through to my kids.
My ds (who is also a tween) has a wiry body type with long slender bones, but is not skinny.
Lynn
Thought I would mention my thoughts on this one..
Caitie seems to be obsessed with this lately. She had never heard the term anorexia before reading in a magazine that Lindsay Lohan was anorexic. She asked me what it meant and I talked to her about it and explained how two of my close friends (both of whom she has met before) are recovering from anorexia. Now, whenever she sees a skinny person she makes a comment about how they are 'probably anorexic', so I really have to stress the point that some people are just naturally thin and don't have an eating disorder.
She has never been concious of her own body image, but she is small (height wise) for her age and hasn't really developed as much as the other girls in her class, so it hasn't seem to affected her yet.
-Nikki
http://destastory.blogspot.com/
Kayleigh has never mentioned wanting to diet.
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Abigail has never been on a diet or mentioned wanting to be on one. She generally thinks well of her appearance, although she will occasionally ask if her thighs look fat. But I think this is because every other member of this family has really, really skinny (ugly, in fact) legs, so this appears "normal" to her. But I just point out her friends' normal size thighs.
She is a normal weight right now (about 5'4", 114 lbs), but I don't think she gets enough exercise, so I try to encourage her to find a sport she can do even in the winter. Running is ideal to me, but she really doesn't like it. The truth is, no one likes running when they first start, but then after a month, it becomes a pleasant habit. Just try convincing a very opinionated 12 year old of that.
My 10 yo DS is another story. He looks emaciated, although he does love high fat foods, drinks whole milk, eats huge breakfasts, etc. DH says he had the same build at that age, and he's very tall and lanky today, so it's probably genetic.
Connor (13), at 125 lbs and 5'4 3/8", he in at the 77th percentile for BMI, which puts him in the healthy range for weight.
On a more personal level, I know my son would like to be a bit more toned, but aside from that I don't think he sees himself as being overweight.
stacy
I am a step-mom of 3 girls. I married their Dad about a year ago after about 5 years of dating, so the transition for all of us went and has gone pretty well. I have gotten to be very close to them, especially the oldest and the youngest. The middle is coming along slowly but surely and I am very pleased with the progress we have made just within the last year.
I do, however, have a concern about my youngest SD. She is 11 and for the last couple of years has seemed to get more and more obsessed with not only her weight, but everyone elses weight too. She comments on weight a lot. I have had a few conversations with her about weight that she has brought up to me and they have definately thrown up a red flag. Her oldest sister is over weight and their mother has made the youngest 2 pretty worried about their weight. She (their mother) has gone as far as weighing the oldest in front of the other 2 and telling them they have to be careful b/c they don't want to "end up like her." The oldest is 19 now and is living with us. She went off to college last year and flunked out and has been with us since the day we got back from our honeymoon. She has been working part-time and went to a community college here locally and has now been accepted to a 4 year university and will be moving out in August. She has been living with us mainly b/c her mom has not made her welcome in her home. She (my SD) has grown up quite a bit over the last year and has come to realize all of the issues she has never faced before about her mom and how she has treated her. She has started seeing a psychologist within the last month, so I pray that she will be able to learn to better comprehend and cope with all that she has been through. Anyway, back to my youngest SD...
She has commented to me every time I lose or gain weight and has been very curious about it. I have an intestinal disease that sevierly affects my weight and what and how much I eat. I have made sure to educate her on my disease and how much I would love to not have to have 2 different sets of clothes...my "sick clothes" and my "healthy clothes." She not only comments on my weight, but her weight too. She keeps saying things like "Mom says I'm close to hitting my growth spirt and that I will 'grow into' my weight." Or she'll ask me about how I feel about "skinny" people and/or "fat" people. I try to answer everything the best way I know how to try to keep her from forming such strong opinions on weight, but I'm really worried about her. She has talked about how when she has been sick before she lost weight b/c she threw up so much. She has not talked about that in the same conversations we have had about weight, but none-the-less she has talked about it and that worries me.
Sorry for the length of this! I am just really concerned and new at all of this "parent stuff."
Anyone with any advice, words of wisdom, or just a bit of encouragement is welcome to reply!!!